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CHAPTER ELEVEN ! self defense bitch.
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"BUCKY?" seven year old mckenna says, looking up at the concrete ceiling. he does hear her, but doesn't answer, "bucky please say something," she pleads, turning to face his bed.
bucky takes a deep breath, trying to not get annoyed with her. he knows she just wants to help, but he doesn't want her help. he just wants to forget the screaming. he wishes for everything that he could get her out of the hellhole that the two are made to call home. "mckenna. please just," he pauses, withholding his anger, "i'm sorry kenna. i just don't wanna talk right now."
mckenna bites the inside of her lip, "they hurt you again, didn't they? for protecting me?"
he squeezes his eyes together, "yeah."
"i'm sorry bucky," she says, looking over at him with sorrow filled eyes.
"don't apologize kenna. it's not your fault that you're here," he replies, sitting up in his bed.
she turns completely on her side, "i know. but it's not fair that they take it out on you." he nods, clenching his jaw as he feels behind his neck at the bandage, "sometimes i wish you were my dad." she says randomly.
he looks over at her once again, his eyes turning from hard to soft in an instant, "me too kid. me too."
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" MCKENNAcome on you got one more round in you," he encourages the nine year old. he pats her shoulder, that is twitching from exhaustion.
out of breath, mckenna looks up at him, "i can't- do, it," she says, pausing to take a breath in between her words.
he puts both of his hands on her shoulders, "mckenna. if you don't do this, they will destroy you. their brains are so far gone they have no sympathy," bucky says.
mckenna furrows her eyebrows, "how is this supposed to help?"
bucky shakes his hand, "okay you're right, off topic. just follow my breathing," he says before taking a deep breath in, and mckenna following. they breath out together, mckenna continues the breathing, and walks to the middle of the concrete hallway that she is getting the absolute shit beaten out of her. she stands in the middle and takes her final deep breath, before launching the man who was running towards her, back to the wall. she sees the man knocked onto his feet, and his eyes closed. "yeah mckenna!" bucky exclaims, squeezing the girls shoulders. she fakes a smile, but she's thinking about the man she just hurt. she didn't want to, but, self defense right? the two walk back to the cell, bucky still going on about how proud he is of her, "you did so great today kenna."
"thank you," she says, fakely smiling.
he looks over his shoulder at the sulking girl, "hey what's wrong?"
"i didn't mean to actually hurt him. i dont wanna hurt anyone," mckenna says, looking at bucky with heartbroken eyes.
bucky smiles slightly at the young girl, "mckenna you're a good kid. i know you didn't want to hurt him, and trust me i've been there, but sometimes you have to for yourself. you are the most selfless ten year old i know kid, but you have to think of yourself sometimes, especially if you have a bigger heart than they do."
mckenna looks up at the man who's now standing in front of her, "thanks bucky." she stands up and wraps her hands around his waist.
bucky just stands there for a moment not knowing what to do. he awkwardly rests his arms over his shoulders, not trying to show his uncomfort.
