Disneyland

TWELVE

"I am halfway to pregnant."

- Portlandia, TV SHOW

• • •

[12] THE ONE UNDRESSED

"Felicity," Jay Hamptons whines, lousily walking behind her. He bends, and rests his head on her hands, which both of his hands are clasping. Felicity stumbles at the sudden weight, burping out a smell of alcohol as she does. Felicity's hair is no longer in the straight state it was like in three hours before. Jay has successfully managed to make it look like as if she's gotten out of bed. Her ran his slick fingers, a countless amount of times, through her hair, saying 'you look like sex.'Felicity then proceeded to soothe it out, with no apparent luck. "Why are we leaving?"

"We're not leaving, Jay," she mumbles. "We're going out to breathe."

"But you can breath right here," Jay protests, groggily standing up again. He walks up to her, resting his head on her shoulder. Felicity struggles to keep her shoulder upright and not have it fall down.

"I want to breath outside."

"Nitrogen."

"What?"

"Hydrogen."

"What are you even trying to accomplish?"

"Carbon dioxide."

"Global warming is harmful," Felicity points out.

"On extensive scales."

"I'm aware."

"Eugene and I planted a tree, last year," Jay says, happily, grinning like a child. He spreads his hand wide apart, to a somewhat, acceptable size of a year old tree.

"Apple tree? Are you that Queen from Snow White? 'Cause if you are, listen here buddy, I can no longer proceed to be friends with you!" Felicity loudly informs, slipping underneath the weight of his head, twirling around. Jay, who isn't expecting her to make a sudden change of position, topples over his feet, his head falling to the ground. "Oh. You're hurt."

Jay groans in pain, rolling around, clutching his head. He makes a hissing sound, as if he's trying not to scream, but failing miserably. Jay brings his knees to his chest, muttering words on 'Lord, save me' and 'Stupid move, Stickers'. Felicity stands there. She blinks, one time - two times - three times.

And then, "You have weak balancing skills, Jay-boy."

Jay screams in frustrations, getting onto his back. "God, you piece of shit, are you really going to blame this on me?"

"Yes. Clearly, it was your clumsiness that put you on the floor."

"And your absolute stupidness."

"I beg to differ."

"Shut up, Felicity."

"Considered."

"Felicity. . . Help me."

"Ice pack?"

"Please do."

Felicity bends, blinking rapidly, once crouched. "I'm drunk, Jay."

"I know, babe, but you got to help me out here," Jay mumbles, getting up at bit. Felicity gulps, grabbing his armpits and trying to lift him up. "Felicity. . .I'm sure this isn't going to work." Felicity drops her hands.

"But you're cute," Felicity reasons. "Like a baby. And I always lift babies like that. It isn't working with you."

"How about I get up myself, huh?" Jay softly says. He leans close into her space, his face barely touching hers. Felicity nods, getting up. Taking off her heels, she holds them in one hand, and takes Jay's arm, as he gets up. "Okay, done. Now, ice pack."