Disneyland

FOURTEEN

"In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take."

— Unknown

•       •       •

Felicity Steele folds her blue sweater before placing it into her suitcase, all while a soft smile is present on her face. 

A knock interrupts her packing, and she turns around, sliding her hands into her front pockets. The door opens and a head with tousled brown hair peaks through. "You wanted to see me before I leave?" Jay Hamptons asks, stepping into her room. Felicity nods. They stand in front of each other for the longest time. The innocence that was there has vaporized, gone, vanished. 

"I thought it was best to do it before you leave," Felicity says in a barely audible voice. Reaching out, she slips her hand into his, leading him to her bed. They both take a seat next to her suitcase, hands fiddling with each other on her lap. "I—" she breathes, sighing before finding her voice, "— I'm leaving. I mean the both of us." Jay straightens his back in curiousity. He leans forward, eyebrows furrowed. "University to be clear. We both are going —"

Jay's face drops. "You're not—" 

"— We have to, Jay," Felicity says, freeing a hand to place on his cheek. He leans into it, bringing her closer. "It's not like we're not going to see each other. "I — Jay, I really really like you." 

"I like you too," Jay mumbles, leaning his forehead against hers. 

"I figured," Felicity mumbles, trailing her lips along his cheek, before stopping at the corner of his lips. "But not everything goes as planned. I don't know what we are or what we do. We're a mess, quite frankly. A hot mess, but a mess nevertheless. 

I got off for university and so do you. People are lies. What they say are lies. They say if you're in love then nothing can break it. Jay Hamptons I swear to God, if I spend another day or hour with you I'm scared I might fall in love. And you won't. They say love survives. But amidst work and life and studying I doubt that." 

Jay feels as if something pulling at his chest, as if a thousand needles are being stabbed into his skin. The ache remains, spreading through. He shakes his head. "Why are you doing this?" 

"Jay. . ." 

"We can make this work, Felicity," Jay assures, moving his mouth to find hers in a searing kiss. Their mouths try to find the need of happily ever after; they try to find false reality. Felicity pulls back softly. Not for long, because Jay tugs her mouth back to his. "Jay. . . " she talks, parting their lips. "Stop. . . We can't."

"Felicity, why are you doing this? Don't." 

Felicity smiles. "It's not like I'm saying we're never going to see each other again. I'm saying we can't be together. And anyway, I'm pretty sure you'll find plenty of college girls to go out with. You got me after all," Felicity chuckles, curling a finger under his chin, lifting his face to meet his eyes, brushing her nose across his. 

"And I'm not letting you go," Jay says, right after, grabbing her hips. 

"Jay, listen, we'll be friends." 

"That never works out, you've just been watching a lot of movies. I can't believe after you being a Disney fan you're being so pessimistic about this," Jay shakes his head, pulling her in for a quick kiss. 

"You have to leave in two hours Jay." 

"Don't." 

"How about you and I — the both of us lay here?" Felicity suggests, scooting back up her bed.  Jay turns over, getting on his knees to follow. She gets under her covers with him following. He winds his arms around her waist, and she cuddles into him. Jay's lips begin at  her neck, desperately leaving marks over for boys at her university to see, warning them to: BACK THE EFF UP.  They skim up, opening her mouth for a filled kiss. Her lips make quick languid movements, all her curves pressing up against his.