❝you're in danger here, spencer.❞
❝we'll worry about that later. right now all that matters is you and me.❞
hazel finley is afraid. afraid of being alone. afraid of losing the people she loves. afraid of making mistakes. afraid of falling back into...
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❝I was always ashamed to take. So I gave. It was not a virtue. It was a disguise.❞
ANAÏS NIN
✩
0.2 : secrets
OR
season 6, episode 10 : what happens at home...
FIN STARES UP AT THE HAUNTINGLY FAMILIAR BUILDING AND TUGS HER SWEATER SLEEVES OVER HER HANDS. Partially because it's cold, and partially because she's afraid.
You can do this. She whispers this to herself as she walks through the doors, passes the security checks, pushes the UP button for the elevator.
She's been awake since four this morning, and she's not fully sure why, except that today is her first day back at the BAU. It's not new job jitters, either; it's the fear of being rejected. The fear that everyone will be angry at her for leaving.
The safe house is small, but cozy and out of the way; the agents stationed to watch her kind, but distant. It doesn't feel like home. Fin's got that odd nomadic feeling she brought with her from Greece, the feeling that she doesn't have a home anywhere. To some, it's freeing. To her, it's a cage.
The elevator doors open with a quiet ding and Fin's pulse stutters nervously. She digs her fingernails into her palms, takes a deep breath, and steps out onto the BAU floor. Her heels go click-clack satisfyingly against the tile-she won't make the mistake of wearing Converse on a first day again.
Hotch has transfer papers from the Athens office ready for anyone who asks; the story is that he requested her back after JJ left, and the paperwork took time to go through. This is the story Fin asked they go with. She's not ready to tell them yet, not ready to face them and explain that she left because she was afraid. Not yet.
She pushes the heavy glass doors open into the office and her eyes fall immediately on a little group over to the left, near the stairs that lead up to Hotch's office. Rossi, Emily, Morgan, Hotch, and a blonde woman she doesn't recognize, all chatting and smiling.
And then Emily looks past the blonde woman and her jaw drops. "Oh, my god."
Fin's heart leaps into her throat and she can't say anything, but it doesn't matter. Emily drops everything in her arms onto Morgan's desk and hurries over, crushing Fin in a tight hug. "Oh, my god," she says again. "Oh, my god, you're really here!"
"I'm here," Fin says quietly, willing her hands not to shake. But not from fear this time-from relief. Emily's not angry with her. Thank God.
When Emily lets go, Rossi's there, grinning with open arms. He smells like expensive cologne and strong coffee, and when he says, "Hey, kiddo," Fin closes her eyes against the joyful tears that so desperately want to escape.
