❝you're in danger here, spencer.❞
❝we'll worry about that later. right now all that matters is you and me.❞
hazel finley is afraid. afraid of being alone. afraid of losing the people she loves. afraid of making mistakes. afraid of falling back into...
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❝I have faith in things coming right little by little...❞
FRÉDÉRIC CHOPIN
✩
3.5 : recovery
FIN'S NOT REALLY SURE WHAT SHE EXPECTED AFTER ESTHER'S DEATH, BUT THE NEXT FEW WEEKS ARE SOMEHOW HARDER THAN ANYTHING SHE WAS PREPARED FOR. Not that she's grieving Esther in any way; she mourned the loss of her mother a long time ago. Her mother was not in the body she stood over. Esther killed her mother, and so Fin is not sad at all to wake up and know that Esther is gone. But there is something about finally killing your demons that exhausts you, both physically and emotionally.
She sleeps for eighteen hours straight after the first day, her body and mind both entirely exhausted, and when she wakes up, her doctor, a man named Sanjay Kumar, insists on giving her a full and absolute check-up. Fin would much rather stay in bed, but doctors know best, she supposes. So she surrenders herself and spends the next hour ambling around the hospital room, pulling the IV cart behind her like a sad little dog on a leash, and telling nurses what hurts and what doesn't as they poke and prod her with gloved hands.
"I'm very impressed," says Dr. Kumar, as two nurses help Fin climb back onto the stiff hospital bed. "You're progressing very well."
"I've always been a fast healer." Fin winces as her abdomen twinges uncomfortably, shifting slightly on the bed. "When are you gonna let me out of here?"
"Not for a few more days. We still need to monitor you and make sure that nothing is infected or bleeding internally. I've said this before, but the knife nicked your colon just a little on its way out, and that poses a larger threat for infection, specifically peritonitis. That's only really a threat after the first two days, but we don't want you tearing anything at home."
The door to her room opens and Spencer enters, right on time as always, carrying a duffel bag in one hand and a vase full of irises in the other. A wide, goofy grin spreads across his face when he sees Fin. "Hi, sweetheart."
"Hi." Fin smiles back, tilting her chin up to kiss him gently. He tastes slightly of coffee, which is a sore subject, as Dr. Kumar told her yesterday she has to avoid all caffeine for a minimum of six weeks. Six weeks of herbal tea might kill her before the hole in her stomach does. "Was work okay?"
Spencer grimaces, setting the vase of flowers on the table next to her bed. "Strauss is pressing us for reports about everything that happened, and she, Hotch, and Blair are trying to fight off the Senate Homeland Security Committee again. It looks like they really want another hearing about the way we handled things."
Fin sighs, shaking her head. "If they want another hearing, there's not much we can do about it."
"I don't want you to have to relive that," Spencer says, sitting down in the chair next to her and taking her hand. "Not so soon after everything."
