Number 15 - Katie McCabe

14

I wake up to the sound of my alarm and almost immediately, I feel excitement, anxiousness and nervousness all at once rush through my body. This is the day that I've been waiting for my entire life. I'm going to be playing for my childhood club, the one I've grown up supporting, the one that I've been working hard to play for my whole career. I feel myself smile at the thought, and for some reason, my nerves have somewhat dissipated since last night. I feel a new sense of exhilaration that is unbeknownst to me most of the time.

"What's got you smiling at this time?" Katie groans in annoyance from being awoken.

"I don't know, I guess I'm excited," I reply as I turn my body to face her, the smile not leaving my face.

"I'm glad your demenour has changed since last night," She says softly in her morning voice while matching the grin on my face.

"Me too," I start, my eyes not once leaving hers. "Thank you," I continue as I sit up against the bed. We've still got a moment before we have to go down for breakfast, so I use it to stay in bed.

"For what?" She asks as she stretches her arms and sits up as well.

"For reassuring me... I really do appreciate it," I say while leaning my head on the quilted headboard behind me.

"Well, I had to find a way to shut you up, didn't I?" Katie smiles playfully, causing me to roll my eyes at her.

"Oh, shush," I laugh while I look away and shake my head at her comment.

"No, but seriously, don't be hard on yourself, everyone's so happy that you're here," She adds with assurance in the tone of her voice.

"Even you?" I raise my eyebrows at her, considering our strange history with one another.

"Yes, even me," Katie laughs and now it's her turn to roll her eyes. I smile to myself in pride, knowing that I'll be able to use that against her at some point in time. As I check my phone, I see the time and realise that we have to be down in five minutes. I slip out of bed and make my way to the bathroom to freshen up before we go down. Since I slept in my sweats, I decide to not get changed as most likely everyone will be wearing sweats as well. Once I'm done in the bathroom, I open the door of the room to go downstairs.

"Not going to wait for me?" Katie speaks up from her bed.

"Well, hurry up then, we have to be there in two minutes," I say leaning against the door, letting it shut completely.

"Okay, okay," She says, now getting up and heading to the bathroom. She leaves the door open as she brushes her teeth and I sigh with how long she's taking.

Once we get down to the breakfast room, things become a little more real, seeing the whole team together, the anxiety I thought had diminished starts to build up again. I try to turn it into anticipation, but the weight I felt on my shoulders yesterday finds it's way right back to where it was before. When Katie and I make our way to a table with Leah and Lotte, I feel my breath start to become shaky as all kinds of thoughts cause havoc in my brain. I do my best to push them down, but they're still present in my mind and it's hard to focus on anything else while I eat the food on my plate. Yet, I'm soon shaken from my thoughts as I hear my name in conversation.

"Willa?" I look up from my plate to see Leah with a look of worry across her face. Maybe she said something and I didn't hear her.

"Hmm?" I hum and raise my eyebrows, urging her to go on while I take a sip of my drink.

"I said, you might be starting today, Kim did something to her ankle at the end of training yesterday. We don't know for sure yet if she'll be okay to play but she's getting final assessment from the physio right now. Jonas told me to prepare you for the news if it happens," Leah smiles, thinking I'd be excited by the news. Don't get me wrong, I am, but the nerves I felt yesterday double in size as the words sink into my brain. I was so caught up in how I was working in training yesterday to notice Kim's injury. Part of me feels guilty that I didn't see it unfold, that I could have helped her in some way. I cough on the water I just took a sip of in shock to what Leah just said.