Adopted by Lady Gaga

(8)

i sat silently looking at my hands, fiddling with my fingers. she was still stroking my hair gently. the urge to run was almost gone but i still just wanted to run away and not have to tell her anything.

"p-please don't make me.. i-i-i c-can't"
"yes you can" she cooed "look at me sam, i know you've built this wall around you. you push everyone away because your afraid, your afraid people will leave, your afraid they'll hurt you, but not me, I won't do that to you, and you deserve to be happy. you deserve to be loved. let me in, please?"

i really hated crying but I couldn't stop myself this time around. every emotion i hid for so long was finally pouring out of me.
i wiped my salty tears away with the sleeve of my sweater and looked up at gaga
"well i've only told you a few things about me"
"i'm listening" she said caressing the top of my hand
"you know about my mom and brother, and how it was all my fault. it was all my fault, and my mom blamed me for it, and could i really blame her? i mean I deserved it, all of it, every single hit, punch... And well you already know emma and jessie from the care home"
Gaga looked at me with both shock and sincereness in her eyes
"i... i didn't think you were so hurt..." her voice trailed off and i didn't know what to say so we sat in silence for a while
"well you've got me now, i am never EVER, leaving you, okay?"
l simply just nodded
"and what about at dinner?"

i sighed here it goes. one of my biggest secrets

"uh..well.. jessie she made me feel really bad about my weight, always calling me fat, she'd stop me from eating sometimes.." my voice trailed off and i looked back down at my hands
Gaga lifted my chin making me look at her
"your skinny, your too skinny, how much do you weigh?"
"ninety-seven" i said biting my bottom lip
"are you serious Samantha?" she basically yelled "ninety-seven?!"

once she made eye contact with me her face softened "i'm sorry" she said hugging me "you are no where near fat. i promise you, please eat"
i sighed
"okay" Gaga gave in "you dont have to now, but will you please try tomorrow?"
i looked at her "do i have too?"
"pleaseeee? for me?" Gaga said giving me her puppy eyes with her bottom lip sticking out "ugh. fine" i said giving in
"yay" she said clapping her hands together and hugging me tightly
i could help but laugh, for the first time on a while, i laughed.
Gaga looked at me smiling "you should smile more often, it looks good on you"