Marriage mistakes

The pregnancy

A/N This chapter has been updated by juliaanthea

As the weeks continued to pass Mark became distant and his responses were nearly nonexistent. When I managed to engage him in conversation he was sharp and blunt with me until I gave up. We spent two weeks living together, but at the same time so apart, it was like we were two ships passing in the night barely acknowledging the other's existence.
One night we were laying in bed, on opposite sides, we may as well have been in separated beds from the amount of distance he was putting between us and I just snapped. I couldn't cope with being ignored and unloved especially with the added hormones making my mood unstable.
"What is wrong with us? Why won't you even look at me?" I take his hand hoping just to understand.
"Your carrying a baby that I don't even want and you want me to be excited and pleased? I can't stand to look at you and be constantly reminded of it."
Tears start running down my cheeks, I could feel them falling one at a time onto my arm just like all my hopes and dreams being washed away with them.
"Please baby we can make this work, you'll love being a father I promise. You'll have a little son or daughter to spoil and look after who will love you unconditionally, no matter what."
"Don't you understand, I don't want this! I don't want a child. I hate this child and I hate you."
I reach over begging him to understand and to just give it some thought knowing once he comes to terms with it he will be an amazing father but he wasn't having any of it. He pushes me away and I loose my balance on the edge of the bed, causing me to fall onto the ground flat on my stomach. Feeling the immediate stomach pain, I'm instantly knowing that something was wrong. I started praying to God please please don't take my baby. I will love this baby more then life itself please don't take it away from me. I repeat this over and over in my head like a mantra, praying to anyone that will listen not take my precious baby from me.

I woke up the next day in a hospital bed surrounded by white walls, clean beds and the smell of disinfectant. Nothing like my comfy warm bed at home. I start to panic feeling my heart beat jump to 80 mph in a space of minutes it's only when the machines start beeping that I know I have to calm down or I could hurt the baby. The baby! What's happened to my baby!? I start pulling the wires off of me trying to get out of my room and find my husband or at least a doctor. Minutes later a nurse rushes in telling me to relax and that a doctor will be in shortly to explain everything.
"How's my baby? Where's my husband? Are they ok? What's going on? Why am I here?"
Question after questions starts tumbling out of my mouth, one after another unable to wait for an answer. I start to panic when Mark walks through the door his eyes red and blotchy, his hair dishevelled like he's spent the night asleep on the armchair and in the clothes from last night. "Mark, what's going on?"
"Hey sweetie, just calm down, everything will be ok the doctor will be in shortly," the nurse replies, my husband won't even look at me.
"Mark please just talk to me, come sit next to me, take my hand."
Silently he moves his chair to the right side of my bed closest to the window and lightly takes my hand, his touch so soft I wouldn't have noticed had I not been watching.
We sit like that in silence, just gently holding each other when the doctor finally walks in and explains my injuries from the fall. Nothing too major, he explains a few minor bruises which will heal on their own.
"What about my baby!? How is my baby!?"
Just like that my world started to fall apart, I couldn't focus on his words except that I lost the baby, my precious baby was taken from me. I sat crying for hours unable to form any words not wanting to see or talk to anyone, I had lost the one thing in the world that meant the most to me. I couldn't take it.
Mark left half hour after I was told and I didn't see him again until the next afternoon when he came to collect me after I was discharge. We sat in silence the whole car journey home. It wasn't the nice sort of silence where you could stay there forever but more like you could cut the silence and tension with a knife. I had nothing to say to him. He caused me to loose my baby and I could never forgive him for that.