VENOM | TAEHYUNG

43

4 days.

It has been 4 days since my mother had passed away.

The longest days of my life.

I thought I had a month to mend what was broken between us— it was quite unfortunate that she had to go so soon. She had died a bitter, unhappy person and that was all my fault. I could not stop blaming myself for the way we had turned out. Why weren't we like other families? Why didn't my mother love me? Why has it been so long that I forgot what her handmade food tasted like.

My father had left us to drown in the debt that he made! I tried my best to help us — I tried my best, mother. I was a child when I had to work jobs I never wanted too. When men touched me. When my virginity was taken by force! I was just a child who was trying to help us out of debt. How could she not see my struggles? How could my mother abandon me?

You may have lost your husband and health , mother. But I had lost my parents and my will to live this wretched life.

—
10 : 38

"Did you eat?".

Leaning against the window, I stared out into the stormy day. The rain drumming against the wet ground. It sounded like the weather forecast of my heart.

"Baby?".

His voice rang in my head as I clutch the phone tighter against my ear. "Taehyung, when are you coming home?", I sniffle as the tears escape. "I will be home tonight my love. Please stay hydrated ", he begged. He had left 2 days ago for an engineering program in Australia. I have been camping in his apartment since. "I miss you", I sob into my hand. I couldn't bare this pain. It was so much more than just my mother passing away. I haven't been returning Jungkooks calls or texts— he was probably concerned and worried that I had completely disappeared. I haven't been able to see him, because how would I explain that my mother had died? He knows they are well and healthy. Jungkook had been blocked out of my life — he did not know the real me.

"Baby, please stay safe. I'll be home soon", he promised. "I will. I'll wait up for you", I sniffle and hang up. Tossing the phone aside, I slum into the couch and continue to weep. How did my life turn out this way? I have been so caught up in trying to make things work but in actual fact — everything was burning and falling apart around me. I couldn't save anyone — not even myself. I couldn't lie anymore — I just couldn't. I was drained out. I had to end everything. I just wanted my world to stop spinning so fast. I couldn't breathe in such thick flames.

It was either the world went silent or I would be forced to make it all stop forever.

—
Taehyungs Pov:

I simply could not focus on work.

I had come all the way to Australia for an important program — yet, I could not stop thinking about Ana. Right now, i was on my way back to her. We had stopped to take a break before the flight continued.

She was hurting and I hated myself for leaving her alone. I knew that calling her several times within the day was not enough. She needed to physically feel my warmth — I needed to feel her.

She was not in a good space and I was afraid she'd harm herself. Whenever things went south , Ana would never hesitate to blame herself. I always recall how she never thought twice to slit her wrist. Thinking about her gave me panic attacks. I was so fucking far away — I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to her. My mother had tried to call several times and even texted to ask if I heard from Ana. What the fuck was I suppose to tell them? They did not even know we shared a bond. How could I tell them she was living in my apartment because her mother passed away?