A/N: I might talk about SH, EDs and other more heavy topics. However, while I think it's a very important topic to discuss, if that makes you readers uncomfortable then I won't.
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The Past (June, 2019)
Showers
Your POV
I know that me and Reneé are just friends. I know that's likely what we'll always just be. Maybe best friends. Maybe sisters. And the thought of that makes me want to throw up.
I want us to be girlfriends.
Get this out of your head, Y/N. I think to myself. You've only known this girl for a month and you're already acting like you're in love with her. And you're not even out yet!
Plus she probably doesn't even like girls.
Or you.
But sometimes, I feel like she might feel it too. The way her eyes meet mine in a moment of silence isn't awkward but I can feel the tension. We're both very flirty people and yet...for someone who is so charismatic and sure of herself, I catch her getting flustered. Maybe she's embarrassed. Maybe she thinks my flirty remarks are weird. Maybe she doesn't like me at all.
Despite all of this uncertainty, I still got butterflies when she accepted my invitation to go to dinner with me.
She had told me to come over to her apartment and get ready while she showered, which I did. I'm curling my eyelashes when she comes out of the shower and I can't help but stare.
She's hugging a towel to her body and her hair is still dripping wet. She smells of lavender shampoo, the kind of one that they supply in tiny bottles at a hotel, where she got that from, I have no idea. Her cheeks are rosy, and the steam from the shower almost follows her around like a cloud of mist. Her wet hair, which looks straighter than usual because it is dripping in moisture, sticks to her neck in such a way that there was nothing more that I wanted but to tenderly part her hair to see what lay underneath.
"Are you done staring?" She teases, using her arm to accentuate her chest.
"I wasn't staring!" I stutter out.
"Relax, I know I look good Y/N."
Present Day (March, 2023)
The ring.
Reneé's POV
"It's a cool ring." I say, doing everything I can to keep my voice from trembling, to keep my eyes fixated on hers. "Plus someone who I care about a lot gave it to me."
Y/N is a hard person to read. But when you've seen every part of her, vulnerable and left only open to your eyes, one can't help but know her. So I see her face crumble if only momentarily, her eyes suddenly soften, an invisible force tugging at those beautiful lips of her's, her eyebrows unfurrowing. I remember the first time she looked so...broken. We had been watching a TV show, can't even remember which one but I had my arms wrapped around her, her head on my chest when I felt soft tears fall onto my shirt. I had asked what's wrong, pausing the show in order to look at her, putting my arms on her shoulder and looking her in her eyes. She averted her gaze and simply smiled at me. Nothing, my girl. She had said and when I insisted she could tell me, she just wrapped herself more tightly into me, unpaused our show. Just hold me. She had said and we continued to watch, even though nobody was really watching the show. How could I? She was silently crying into my body, I felt her choked sobs wrack my body.
"Care? As in present tense?" She rasps out, her face still soft, and it brings me back to the days that her soft face was mine to caress. "You don't even know me anymore, let alone care about me." She spits out, venom lacing her tongue, her face still vulnerable. I never thought I'd be at the other end of her anger. The only times I had seen her like this was in order to defend me. She was sweet and maybe she should be more confrontational but she balanced me, my scrappy hard exterior. Always getting in trouble, but unlike me, she was never mean to anyone, not really. Always so empathetic, always so ready to try to understand, always ready to forgive. She only defended herself like this when someone really hurt her.
I hate that now I'm that someone.
"And if someone cares about someone else they don't leave."
The Past (June, 2019)
Bond. James Bond.
Reneé's POV
We giggled the whole way to the restaurant, already half drunk on cheap alcohol we had decided to buy instead of attempting to not get carded at the expensive restaurant Y/N had decided to go to. How we were going to afford, who knows? But in this moment, I don't have a care in the world.
She raises a glass of lemonade up –that she had insisted be put into a wine glass to which the waiter had shot her the dirtiest look ever, to which we responded to by bursting into laughter– and her eyebrow shoots up when I can't help but laugh.
"This is no laughing matter, Reneé!" She says, maintaining a disapproving look focused on me, somehow without laughing. "I just wanted to give a toast to us for you know, being Broadway stars for the first time!"
I laugh and clink my glass with hers. We spent the entire evening laughing and talking, and I wish that this moment would never end. But eventually we get kicked out of the restaurant and I walk Y/N home. And when we get there, she insists I stay over, saying its not safe. I think I might explode if we sleep in the same bed.
We sit on the curb right in front of her and she tells me, her eyes drunk with more of the alcohol we had drank. She takes out a little box out of her coat pocket and gives it to me.
"I was nervous about giving you this." She admits as I start to open the box. "First I thought you might not remember why I'm giving you it and I didn't want to seem gay-" She blushes and stutters. "Not that being gay is bad or anything, I don't think that at all, I just didn't want to scare you off cause you're cool and stuff." She rambles before she's cut short by my expression of shock.
In the box was a golden ring, which to the untrained eye might be pretty normal, but it was James Bond's specter ring. Who's movies we had decided to binge after Y/N kept teasing me about being our first encounter.
"I didn't get you anything, you really shouldn't have-" I say and stop when she looks me in the eyes a bit more tenderly and smiles.
"Do you like it?"
"Yes I love it! This is so thoughtful." I whisper, and we both lean in for a moment, my hand on top of hers. For what feels too short and yet too long we stare into each other's eyes until Y/N stands up.
"I'm glad Miss Bond."
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A/N: So are we liking this? Please let me know and also any feedback you may have.
YOU ARE READING
What Can I Do? (renee rapp x reader)
RomanceYou and Renee were young and naive and so it ended. But what happens when you are both cast in the same Broadway show --turned movie-- that ignited your love?
