What Can I Do? (renee rapp x reader)

Re(neé)conciliation (Part Five)

The Present Day (March, 2023)

Puke & Problems

Reneé's POV

I walk up to my car and notice that Alissa is still attempting to clean their shoes. They are scrubbing aggressively while sitting on top of my car which immediately makes me worry that they will get puke on my car. Which is kind of a dick thought considering my fucking lover just got puked on. Their face is red in frustration and I can't help but imagine cartoon smoke coming out of their ears. The image makes me chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Alissa deadpans, shooting daggers at me. Y/N would have laughed right along with me, I'm sure of it.

"Nothing babe, let me help you." I sigh and start helping them clean off their shoes, scrubbing into the crevices to soak the liquid up. I get a notification on my phone which I quickly look over to, from Jaquel informing me that they canceled the shoot today. Something about how Tina Fey is sick or something. Huh. Guess Y/N isn't the only one who partied hard.

I finish cleaning them up and I open the passenger door to my car, and they step in without a word. We sit there, me driving in silence for a few minutes before Alissa speaks.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" They mutter, looking at their hands.

"What?" I ask, concerned and take one of my hands off of the steering wheel and onto their leg.

"You ran off to go help your ex instead of me. Just a reminder Reneé: you're my girlfriend." They spit, venom lacing their words.

"Alissa, don't be like that." I turn to look at them and I feel nothing. No butterflies, no warmth, nothing. And that scares me. "She looked like she was about to pass out. I couldn't, in conscience, leave her to like fucking die in a dingy bathroom."

"She wasn't going to die!" They mutter, a bit more defeated this time. I rub her neck with my hand in such a way that they knew I was asking for forgiveness. "But fine. Whatever. I get it."

I smile and at a red light I kiss them lightly on the lips. "Look, they canceled the shoot today so we'll have the whole day to ourselves."

At that statement, their face lights up with a mischievous grin. "Okay babe."

Fuck. Well at least they aren't mad at me anymore.

We get back to my apartment and as soon as we enter through the door, they start kissing me, pushing me onto the bed in such a feverishly hungry way that it almost makes me want to throw up. I pull away in between kisses.

"Uhm what do you want to do today? I heard that they're doing an R&B performance at that bar near the thrift shop. We could also go watch that new Scream movie at the theater. Buy some popcorn and candy?" I suggest hopefully but my requests are met with more kissing as they straddle my lap.

"You know what I want." I nod, a bit ticked off. Sometimes it felt like the only reason Alissa was with me was to see me naked. I don't think they even know that much about me. "Take off your shirt."

Yeah yeah whatever.

The worst part is that the entire time we have sex I'm not thinking about what's happening. It's like my body is on autopilot and my mind is in fucking mars. I keep thinking about Y/N. I keep thinking about how upset she looked when she realized I was with someone. Had I been leading her on? Was my friendliness too friendly? I already know the answer to that. I was flirting with her. Because part of me was still entertaining the idea that maybe, just maybe, we could get back together. Even though I'm in a relationship.

Fuck. I'm such an ass.

The entire time Alissa tries to elicit a reaction of pleasure from me I just fake it. I can't help but compare them. Y/N felt better underneath me. I liked the way she was always asking me if this or that was okay or how much we actually talked during. I liked the way she'd grip my hair, careful not to hurt me. But most of all I liked that she wouldn't have insisted on sex. No, she would have lit up at the idea of spending time with me. Like that time she took to watch Beetlejuice on Broadway because I mentioned once that I was a fan of Tim Burton. Or when she took me to an underground bar where we listened to covers of my favorite R&B. Or when we got drunk and she took me to a karaoke bar. Or even just when we would watch movies together, either crying or scared shitless or intrigued or happy or laughing or complaining. But we connected together. Physically sure, but also soulfully, emotionally connected. Y/N knew me better than anyone else in the world. And despite how long it's been, I think she still does.

"Hey Alissa." I murmur after a few moments of silence after our sexual endeavors. I can hear them panting and immediately they start putting their clothes back on. I can't help but think that even when out of breath, Y/N sounded better. Her breaths were rhythmic, and you could hear just the tiniest bit of rasp. Her pants were almost as beautiful as the entrancing melody of her voice. "Do you want to go to a concert in two weeks? Well it's not so much a concert but more like a R&B presentation at that bar off main street."

"April 13th?" They ask, putting their shoes on.

"14th." I correct and I don't even question why they're already taking off.

"Sure." They shrug and kiss my cheek. "Bye babe."

"Bye."

Y/N would have been ecstatic if I would have invited her. Even though I was looking at a beautiful person who had clearly gone through the trouble of making themselves look good, I couldn't help thinking that Y/N was even more beautiful, even her pale and sick vomit-covered self. I had to stop this. Either get over her or or or-

Get underneath her.

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A/N: sorry girlypops still angst! :)