Inside Of Our Minds (Hannibal Lecter's Son)

Chapter 22) Tension.

This chapter will contain some smut.

Ashton turned 18 this past Tuesday similar to mine it was spent drinking and staying cooped up. It's Friday and yesterday he gave me a handy after telling me I could fuck other people if I needed.

We plan on moving to Lithuania as soon as possible, he's hoping to get accepted into a different college in the area.

I've often thought about how life would be there. The castle's large garden would be beautiful once fixed up, the same moat that Papa grew up playing in would be the same one that our kids would explore. I've thought about the sunny days of summer being spent with a feast outside, the short green grass and the summer breeze. Imagining our kids running around and chasing each other while giggling. Everything would be perfect except for one thing. Papa wouldn't be there. It was a sinking gut feeling that I hated. I hated the idea of my kids not seeing their grandfather. I hated that I couldn't imagine him retiring and living with us because of old age. I think for my sanity I'll just tell myself that it's because he refuses to travel to Lithuania. I'm scared he'll get caught because if he does then I don't know how I'd go on.

He's being reckless, I can see straight through it. He's practically leading Will Graham to us, endangering all of us. Papa has a weird way of expressing romantic feelings I suppose. Don't ask him or he'll deny it.

I over heard Bedelia saying to Papa that I was too codependent. Like some sort of trauma bond but no traumatic experiences shared together. Papa has his trauma, nobody has been able to place mine. I find it amusing because I don't even know myself. I like being psycho analyzed by all means tell me what's wrong.

Ashton was asleep, Bedelia was out running errands on the down low. Papa was reading. I walked up to him. He looked up at me then spoke.

"How are you healing so far?" He asked still looking at his book.

"I've healed completely I'm still scared to try and pee standing up."

"You'll get used to it." He chuckled. "Is there something on your mind?"

"I want to get married to Ashton, here, in Italy."

He put his book down and blinked his eyes confused.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

He stood up, patted me on the shoulder and smiled.

"My boy has become a man." I smiled at that.

"Thanks." I said going to the bathroom. I stood over the toilet and pull my pants down just enough. I had jerked off with this thing and had fucked the prostitutes that lingered in the streets. I had never peed standing up. I began doing so, scared that it would run down my leg. After doing so I pulled my pants up and washed my hands. I went to sit next to Papa at his desk and study some of the things that intrigued me.

"Mick?" Papa asked looking at a newspaper.

"Yes?"

He flipped it around and showed me, the small paragraph read "12 prostitutes found dead and dismembered."

I avoided eye contact, if Papa was going to be sloppy then so was I. I looked at my lap and smiled to myself before quickly wiping the expression off my face. I looked back up at Papa, he had a look of displeasure on his face. He raised his hand and brought it back against my face. I stood up, chair scooting back with a quick movement and then raised my hand and did the same thing to him. His eyes closed for a moment as a look of anger came and went over his face. I looked at him in the silence.

"If you're going to be sloppy and go through a fucking heart break like a teenage girl then I'm going to fuck some whores and be sloppy about it." I said before storming off to my bed.

The next day Bedelia went to the shops and I went with her, keeping the allusion of mother and son. I bought some clothes at a retail store. She was picking out ingredients that Papa had asked for. We barely spoke.

As she admired the potatoes she didn't look at me, she put it in the basket then spoke.

"Your father is sorry about last night."

"I'm not."

"You're still a teenage boy, you won't fully develop mentally until you are 25. You've got a lot of emotions to carry and you don't know how to deal with it."

"I suppose."

"You also have a codependent relationship with your father, yet no past history of abuse or assault." She said walking to the next farmers market after paying. I followed.

"I'm not that codependent." I defended.

"Then why have you not returned to the states or Lithuania? I know you're going to college there and Hannibal has expressed his dislike for you returning to the country."

"Because school doesn't start for another few months."

"Yet you haven't moved at all to prepare yourself for college."

"I'm scared to. I'm only 18."

"That's perfectly normal and expected, I believe Hannibal wants you to do your best. He has full confidence in you." She said before entering the wine shop.

Back at the apartment I just wondered, walking around thinking. I wanted to be a psychologist just like Papa. I was intrigued by certain aspects of the human mind. I thought about how it would feel to return to the states. And so began my journey of leaving my only parent, how Ashton and I would getting married in Italy to only then reside in Lithuania. This is going to be a long process.

A/N
I haven't been doing mentally well this lack of updates I know. I'm not sure when exactly but hopefully in the next couple of weeks I'm able to go to the mental hospital so there's that.
I apologize if I just throw in random smut as well, considering the characters are adults and Mick is a stand in for myself I base his non psychotic behavior off of my own. This is marked as a mature book for that reason.

If you want more updates please feel free to reach out on my TikTok (18+) which is @mikemikkelsen65 I also post some Hannibal content on there as well.

Again with the smut I also write it while high or drunk so that could explain it.

Thank you all for your patience.