𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐀'𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐗! heroes of olympus²

xi. sunshine

chapter eleven!
011. sunshine

percy

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    HE DREAMED that he was drowning. 

    It confused him, and it scared him▬Percy was the son of Poseidon, he couldn't drown. And yet, he felt it. He felt the feeling of desperation for breath claw at his throat, and ache▬pounding▬against his chest as the mud swallowed him whole. He felt it up his nose and in his ears. Percy coughed and choked, swamped and trapped. He had felt it when he fell into the bog back in Alaska, and Hazel had to pull him out. He had nearly suffocated; drowned in the mud. But how could he drown? 

    This is just a dream, he tried to convince himself. He was dreaming, and eventually, he would wake up and he would be fine. 

    But the mud turned his vision dark, and his mind grew hazy. He fought and battled for breath, trying to move in the muskeg, but he was frozen. He was stuck and he was drowning▬he wasn't going to be pulled out this time. Muskeg was thicker than water. Water ran past him and it comforted him▬he could control it, but he couldn't control this. He couldn't push through it and he couldn't move it. He couldn't do anything, no matter how hard he fought and how hard he tried. 

     Just when he thought his lungs would burst, the mud shifted and suddenly, he was somewhere else. He coughed and tried to grip something, but he watched his hands fall through the grey wall beside him like he was simply a ghost. For a horrible moment, he thought he was dead▬that he had actually suffocated.

    Stop panicking, Percy forced himself to breathe, and relaxed when he realised that he finally could. This is just a dream. This isn't real. 

    He felt better to find his feet on solid ground, even if he didn't know where his dream was taking him. Percy wouldn't admit it▬no, he couldn't admit it. What would everyone think if they heard that the son of Poseidon, the god of the oceans, was nervous about stepping foot into the water? For years he had used his powers, he had fallen into rivers and breathed underwater▬he had mastered the waves that listened to his commands. How could he be nervous and afraid of the ocean suddenly changing its mind? He couldn't admit it. He couldn't let himself admit it. 

    The moment he admitted that he was scared, the moment his fear began to control him. Percy knew better than anyone that fear was dangerous in this life the moment it took the lead in their decisions. He had to make decisions despite it, not because of it. He thought of Thalia, who was terrified of heights even though her father was Zeus. Her brother could control the winds, but Thalia couldn't▬but she had never even tried, because she was too scared to. If Percy was terrified of drowning, and started to believe that the next time he stepped underneath water he wouldn't be able to breathe ...

     When he was a child, he was scared of water. He was scared of not being able to swim. Of falling and his mother not being there to catch him, and he'd drown. Breathe, Sally Jackson would tell him as she tried to coax him away from the edge of the swimming pool, doing her best not to lose her patience. Breathe, Percy reminded himself now. Though, instead, all he felt was a longing ache in his chest at the thought of his mom. He hasn't spoken to her since he woke up. He hasn't seen her. He didn't know whether she knew if he was alive. And here he was, on another quest that could end with him dead, and his mother didn't even know.

     It was something that pushed Percy onwards▬that told him he would survive this. Because he wasn't going to die with his mother never knowing what happened. He would survive this, and he would see Sally Jackson again, and he would finally be home.