Loved U Yeserday

Sparkle in the eye

Max

The awkward silence so intense, an atmosphere so tangible and so thick you could cut it with a knife. I had accidentally fell and landed on the girl who dated my friend Booker---felt as though I didn't even know her. Well, we hardly interacted outside of their relationship, casual greetings in the hall, seeing her stroll around then sit alone on the pavilion at rugby practice and sharing the same biology class. She's kind of, how-do-I-say-this? Snobby.

Nonetheless, I felt horrible, felt at fault, as though I had ruined everything for her. I began constructing an apology in my head, running through it over and over but I was much too nervous to actually tell her. I couldn't bring myself to actually saying anything to her, not after embarrassing her infront of her entire pageant club mates. That's if she had any, she didn't strike me as the type to have any friends, or want to for that matter, which is why I nudged Booker into dating her, he's charismatic and extremely social, she's very closed off and he was the perfect person to get her out of that shell of hers.

We sat in awkward silence on the bench outside the nurse's office, waiting to be called in one by one. Both of us not knowing what to say or do. Both of us looking in opposite directions in hopes to avoid confrontation. I could tell she was fuming and that she was expecting an apology. But the words refused to formulate, come out, they battled to remain concealed. I didn't understand why? Perhaps it was her towering, intimidating stature, the way she carried herself. The potentially brutal remark or response that could ruin any bit of self esteem I have, she looked like she might make. Perhaps the scowl that never left her face...

The silence must have gotten to her, she seemingly could not take it any longer, as she decided to act upon her frustration. "What the heck, bro?!" She attacked, aggressively waving her hands in the air as she did. She was blatantly fuming, I envisioned steam blowing from her ears as she stared at me, awaiting a response.

I attempted not laughing at the sight of this, as this certainly was not the time nor the place for jokes. "I, I don't know, I accidentally slipped and fell off stage." I panicked, barely managing to get the words out of my mouth.

"And you're not even going to apologise? I mean, what were you thinking?!" She asked, wearing a brutal scowl on her face. Making the most hysterical expressions. I know this is very serious but it's just in my nature to find relief in times of distress---looking at upsides and greener grass on the other side---it's in my genetics.

I suppose it's a coping mechanism, I mean, if you had experienced the caliber of traumas I had, you'd probably require these mechanisms as well. Although, looking at the lighter side of things isn't only beneficial to me, it also relieves the people around me. I'm not certain how Joel is going to take it so I'll keep it all to myself. It didn't hurt that she was easy on the eyes and kind of attractive either but that was the last thing on my mind, I'm sure hers as well.

"I'm, I'm sorry, okay? I meant to apologise but it's not that easy." I defended.

She seemed stunned by my response.

"What the heck is so hard about a sorry, you just said it." She said, making a confused expression so funny, I was dying to point it out.

"I only said it now cause you were yelling at me. You're, you're just too intimidating to approach, okay?"

Silence filled the air, not the kind you'd expect to find whenever my strict principal Ms. Constance walked into the room, or the kind when everyone is sleeping during math period and the teacher's voice is drowned out, not the kind you'd get when you pray, this was the kind of silence that screamed, a type of quiet so loud, so scary. Everything went still, the whole world came to a halt in that moment as I could feel the earth's rotation, I could feel outer space, a cool breeze blowing in my face. I could hear the formation of a glacier in Antarctica and Drake recording his next album. The scowl on her face slowly dissovled into a frown, as she turned her attention away from me and to the floor. I failed to understand why? Failed to see the error in what I had said but had I once again messed things up?