No Ordinary Love...What Comes Next?

Damned If I do..

S12 Ep 2 - Call me McHolland

Cruz is pissed... So is Severide.

Stella hands out advice... But inside their Loft...what is it that Kelly really needs from his wife..

Happy Birthday globe trotter! This is for you... In lieu of Lisbon...for now!❤️

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"Hey. You took a lot for granted
when you disappeared on us,
and right now, I would kill to
have someone like Cruz on my rig."

Severide stared at his wife's back, frowning. How did she always manage to prick his conscience? Jumping into the rig, he glanced over his shoulder at Cruz, and his frown deepened. He wanted a 'thank you' for stepping up? When did everyone around here get so sensitive?!

But several hours later, his conscience got the better of him, and he found himself sitting opposite Cruz at Molly's, doing exactly what his wife had advised him to do earlier that week. Thanking him. And letting him know that if he wanted to progress up the chain of command, he'd support him.

"That being said, I'm back now. And if taking orders from me is going to be a problem, if you know, you've had
your taste of leadership, and you can't shake it, I'm not gonna stand in your way if you need to move on."

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"That's kind of a backhanded apology, babe."

Stella shook her head, sliding into bed next to Kelly, releasing a deep breath.

"Why?! I said if he wanted to be in charge, I'd support him moving on." Kelly brow furrowed in confusion. How had she come to that conclusion?!

Stella reached for her hand lotion from the nightstand and squeezed some into her hand, and massaged it onto her skin, huffing.

"You basically told him you don't care if he leaves."

Kelly stared at her in silence. What? He did care if Cruz left, and of course, he didn't want to lose him. But if the guy wanted to be Lieutenant, then it was the right thing to tell him to go for it. No?

Stella felt her heart flip over by the changing expressions on Kelly's face. He genuinely seemed perplexed by it all. Sometimes, he was exactly what she had once affectionately referred to him as... her beautiful, emotionally stunted man. She knew how stubborn he could be and that he wasn't into the 'touchy, feely' stuff with his team, but she knew without doubt how much he cared about his people.... he just wasn't very good at showing it. And this thing with Cruz was pushing all kinds of buttons. Mostly emotional confusion!

And that was something that had stood in their way for a lot of the last year, too, and they were still trying to navigate that, although they were slowly but surely finding their way back to each other. She knew he was trying hard with her, and she appreciated that, but there was a small part of her still wary of him suddenly going away and distancing himself again and for that reason she still kept him just a little at arms length. The hurt hadn't quite gone away... but she knew it would.

"Damned if I do, damned if I don't..." Kelly muttered, his face tense.
Stella got the feeling he wasn't just talking about Cruz and instantly felt guilty.

"You, o.k?"

"Seems like it wasn't just you, I pissed off with going to Alabama. "

"It wasn't like that, Kelly." She finished massaging the last of the lotion into her hands.

"No?" He was angry and frustrated, his eyes brooding. "Sure feels like it, sometimes."

Stella sighed, noting the hard set of his shoulders.