Closure (Sebastian Sallow x MC)

Chapter 1

I still remember that letter clear as a day. It's like it's carved in my brain. "I will not be returning to Hogwarts next year". It broke my heart.

Of course, I didn't tell Sebastian that when I sent my reply, a couple of days later. I wished him luck in his search for a cure for his sister, Anne, and told him to please keep me updated on his well being.

After that, we kept exchanging letters. They weren't long, and we didn't tell much in them, mostly that we were alright, alive. I didn't even know where he was, or what he was doing, I only knew that his owl took more to come back every time I sent it to him. I sensed after the firsts letters we exchanged in his absence that he was going through a hard time. His writing began to be less clear, more hurried. And the letters began to be shorter, barely a confirmation that he was still in this world. So, I also told him less in my letters, not wanting to be a distraction or a worry.

I didn't hold it to him though, I knew what he was going through, more or less. We both needed to cope with a lot of trauma, and I understood if he needed the space. I just wished he was with me to go through it together.

I knew he was alright. He was alive, and for the moment, that was enough.

When his first letter arrived, I cried. A lot. And not just for that letter, I cried for everything I had lost that year. The innocence of not knowing violence, the peace of not knowing how it felt to be physically damaged, my mentor... and now, a dear friend. My mom heard me, of course, and came to reassure me. That morning I told her about the letter, and I told her about Fig's death. I didn't tell her the truth of his death; I didn't even know if I could talk about that matter, due to the rather secret circumstances. But I did tell her he died fighting, and that he died happy, holding his wife's wand. And I told her everything about Fig because I couldn't tell her everything about me. That I had been hurt, that my friends had been hurt on my behalf, that I had seen violence, cruelty and death. That I was even the cause of some of that violence and death.

That summer was the worst period of time of my life. I was heavily depressed and I almost didn't leave my home, too numb to even feel the pass of time. My mom took great care of me, and a month before returning to Hogwarts, we spent some time in the countryside with my uncle and his wife. I had the first good days in a long time there. The letters of my friends from Hogwarts arrived non-stop and I was more than grateful; they kept me in the present. Poppy and Ominis were the ones that wrote the most to me, and I started to feel again, mostly the desire to see them again. Ominis was also going through a hard time, back at his home with his awful family, and I was eager to become a support for him the same way he was being one for me.

In the countryside I began to be myself again, taking baby steps. I began to knit and read again, reading all the magic books my mom could get for me. Studying hard even during summer vacation because I needed to understand. Everything I could know about ancient magic, the keepers, other forms of magic... It was all welcome.

Starting the sixth year at Hogwarts was something I definitely needed. Seeing my friends (not all though) was like a breath of fresh air. With all the time we spent together, Poppy became my best friend. And we also hung out a lot with Natty, and we made a great group.

Ominis and I grew closer, as we shared a burden. Sebastian also wrote to him that summer, telling him he wasn't returning and apologising for his behaviour. Ominis was more reluctant than me to forgive him, but over that year I knew he was on better terms with him. At least, they were on speaking terms. And he shared my worryness over Sebastian too.

He was also worried about Anne. Ominis told me that, before the events of the fifth year, he and Anne exchanged a lot of letters, and even before that, they were a close trio of friends with Sebastian. But he hadn't heard about her in all that time, since the death of Solomon Sallow.