Spring Broken

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[The scene starts with and driving their gray van along the street.]

Blitzo: I love this ! *poorly singing along with "Mustang Dong" on the radio* ♫ You were a spicy little- uh- with the- uh- bleach blonde haaaair! ♫

[ is shown sitting in the passenger seat next to , looking mildly annoyed at his singing. covers his somehow non-existing ears in the back while rolls down her window and smiles.]

Blitzo: ♫ Fieeendin' for that semen when I caught your stare... ♫

[They drive into an old crowded parking lot.]

Blitzo: ♫ Thooought it might be love, but you went--♫

[A pink car pulls into the remaining parking space.]

Blitzo: Oh, shit! Fu-

[Blitzo slams onto the brakes and the van skids to a stop. Blitzo turns off the radio and glares at the in the pink car. He glances at the license plate, which reads "SUCKS-4-LIFE".]

Blitzo: Oh, you "suck for life", do ya?!

[Blitzo pulls out a megaphone and yells into it.]

Blitzo: Listen up, you unoriginal pink cum dump! You have three goddamn seconds to get your tits out of my parking spot!

[The passenger steps out of her front car seat with high heels. Blitzo lowers the megaphone, shocked.]

Blitzo: Oh, shit! Verosika!

[Verosika blows a bubble of pink gum before it pops.]

Verosika: Blitz-o.

Blitzo: I should have known you'd be here. I could smell fish for miles, which is odd. Because, I believe the nearest ocean is...

[Blitzo falls and faceplants onto the ground before standing up.]

Blitzo: ...three DOWN!

Verosika: And I should have known you'd be here when I heard the Amber Alerts.

Blitzo: Oh, yeah? I'm surprised they let your fat ass outta rehab. I can see you're still a drunken whore, clutching onto that bottle like it's the last cock in Hell!

[Verosika flips her long hair back dramatically.]

Verosika: They let me out because I'm still famous. And rehab is for sad, loser wash-ups.

[Verosika takes a drink from her bottle and wipes her mouth with her thumb.]

Verosika: So, says "Hi".

[Blitzo angrily steps in front of Verosika.]

Blitzo: Why are you parkin' here?! This is the ONLY parking spot my company has! So take your tampon race car somewhere else!

Verosika: Actually, prick. It has my name on it.

[Verosika points down to her name written in purple spray paint by their feet. I.M.P is crossed out on the ground.]

Verosika: I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies in the building...

Loona: *watching from the van* No way...

Verosika: ...and they wanted to have me come in this week to lead their team during spring break.

Blitzo: A WEEK?! No, no, you are NOT parking here for a fuckin' week!

Hazbin Hotel/ Helluva Boss Princess Story Alastor x readerWhere stories live. Discover now