Viva Las Vengeance

Smile, Even Though You're Sad

** Carlyn's POV **

It's currently 11 a.m., and we are still waiting to hear the pathology results from Dr Wilson. We fly out to Montreal this evening and we need to be at the airport for 5 pm. Our bags are all ready to go with us, and we will meet up with the tour buses in Boston in 2 days. Brendon is currently entertaining Skai and Ava. He's decided to try and learn them how to skateboard. I must admit it's quite a sight to behold. Dan and Mike have also decided to join in, so currently, the venue car park looks like a skate park. Both girls seem to be enjoying themselves and obviously share their fathers' quick learning skills and no fear gene. I myself prefer to stay with my feet in contact with the ground. I have enough balance problems without adding wheels into the equation. Brendon tried his best to get me on wheels in high school, but that ended in a complete disaster when I crashed face first into the side of a pick-up, which resulted in a broken nose and a black eye. Needless to say, that was the end of my skateboarding.

Making my way out of the bus, I can hear Bredon talking.
"Dan, why don't you ask Carlyn about her skateboarding experience?" he laughs, winking at me.
I flip him my middle finger in response.
"Is that a touchy subject, Brendon? Cos she just flipped you off, " Dan laughs.
"Not so much touchy more of a SORE subject," he replies, laughing.
"Very fckn funny, Urie. I'm sure Brendon would enjoy telling you the story, Dan. Seeing as it was his fault in the first place..."
"I didn't mean for it to happen, Babe. I was just giving you a helping hand to get you moving," he states, trying to stifle his laugh.
"Why doesn't it surprise me that Brendon was involved?" asks Mike.
"Hey, no ganging up on me," Brendon shouts. "If you must know, in high school, I was teaching Carlyn to skate, but her balancing skills weren't great. When she finally mastered how to mobilise on the board, we decided it was time to start moving. Carlyn was a bit wary, but with some encouragement and a gentle push, she was soon moving...."
"Oh no, you didn't?" I hear Nicole ask.
"Yeah, the only problem was I didn't know how to stop the bloody board and ended up face first into a parked pick-up truck. The board went under the vehicle, and I ended up with a broken nose and a black eye, and that was the last time I was on a skateboard.."
The boys are all doubled over laughing.
"Go ahead, laugh. I wasn't a pretty sight at the time, and I certainly wasn't laughing...:
"I can testify to that. She was absolutely raging." Brendon interjects, grabbing my hand and pulling me into his chest, kissing the top of my head.
"The girls seem to be enjoying themselves,"

"Yeah, they're really getting the hang of it. Still nothing from the hospital?"

I tell him, shaking my head.
"Come on, let's all go get some lunch. I'm starving. "
"Brendon, where do you put all the food you eat?" I laugh.
For all the years we have been together, Brendon has always had a great appetite but never really puts on any weight.
"One of the perks of my ADHD." he says, flashing me that cheeky grin of his.

After lunch, everyone is getting their things ready for the airport. The girls are happily playing in their room whilst Brendon and I are enjoying the peace and quiet whilst drinking our coffee. Suddenly, the peace is shattered when my phone rings. Without thinking, I automatically throw my phone at Brendon, smacking him square in his chest.
"What the hell, Carly?" He asks, looking at my phone.
"Sorry Bren, I didn't want to answer it, I suddenly got anxious.
"It's not the hospital, it's Josh," he says, answering the call
"Hey man, how's things? Great.. yeah, she's here. Let me get her for you,"
I can only hear Brendons' side of the conversation.
"Carlyn, Josh would like to speak to you."
gently handing my phone to me whilst placing a kiss on my lips.
"Hey Jish, how are you? How's Ty?"
"Yeah, Tyler's good...."
"What about you, Jish? Is everything ok.?"
"Yeah, I'm just bored and missing you all.
"It won't be long until we are home. We can all catch up then. How is Debby? Things are great but she's busy with filming just now. How are my 2 favourite little monsters getting on? Are they still enjoying tour life?"
"They are great, having an absolute blast on the road. Brendon's teaching them to skateboard. They're certainly better at it than me...."
"In all honesty, Carlyn, that wouldn't be hard. Even our dog can skate better than you..." he laughs
"Fuck off Joshua!" I laugh knowing he's absolutely right.
"How's the littlest Urie? I hope he's letting you get some rest. It won't be long until he's born."
"Another 12 and a half weeks to go. Not that I'm counting"
Just then, Brendon returns on his phone telling me Dr Wison is on with him.
"Hey Jish, sorry I'm gonna have to go. Someone's on Brendon's phone looking for me. Go for a run, pass your time till Debby gets home. We'll see you soon, yeah?"
"Yeah, look after yourself, Carlyn."
"Bye Jish,"
Brendon puts his phone on speaker.
"Hey Dr. Wilson."
"Carlyn, I have your pathology report back. Pathology shows that you have a T2 NC tumour....."
I look at Brendon blankly, not really understanding what she's saying.
"Sorry, Doc, can you explain it in simple terms?" Brendon asks.
"Basically, your tumour is around 4cm and has spread into at least 3 of the surrounding lymph nodes. It's currently a stage 2 cancer."
"So how do we treat it?" I ask.
"You will need to have a mastectomy to remove the whole breast and the affected lymph nodes as well as the lymph nodes from under your armpit. Now, reconstruction surgery can be carried out at the same time, or it can be done at a later date."
"How long would surgery take?"
"The mastectomy and reconstruction using an implant would usually take around 3 to 4 hours. However, if we were to use your own body tissue for the reconstruction, then surgery could take between 6 to 12 hours. Look, you don't have to decide what you would like to do just now. Take time to think about your options and talk it through between yourselves. Surgery won't happen until you've had the baby."
"But, won't that be too long to wait. Surely the cancer can spread by then?" Brendon asks anxiously.
"Brendon, we are going to start treating the cancer today. I have prescribed a course of chemotherapy for Carlyn. Now, as you are currently on the road, this will be given in tablet form rather than by infusion. As I explained previously, as Carlyn is well past the 14-week stage of pregnancy, the baby won't be affected by the chemo. However, we will need to stop the chemo once Carlyn gets to 37 weeks. Once the baby has arrived, and depending on how successful the chemo has been, you may need a course of radiotherapy, but we will discuss that nearer the time."
"How will we know if the chemo is working?" I ask hesitantly.
"You are in Nashville on the 8th October. Is that correct?"
"Yes" Brendon replies
"I will arrange an appointment for you at
Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Centre in Nashville for blood checks. I will be your consultant throughout this and will liaise with the relevant facilities and send you details of all follow up appointments. Do you have any other questions?"
In all honesty I am feeling overwhelmed by all of this and I'm having trouble focusing.
"I....I don't think so." I manage to stutter out.
"Ok. Carlyn your meds are ready to be picked up. You will start these today. Can you drop by and pick them up or do you need me to courier these over to you?"
"No I can come pick them up whilst Carlyn gets the girls ready for our flight to Montreal. I'll be there in about 20 minutes," Brendin tells her.
"No problem, I'll let Reception know to expect you. If you think of questions you wish you had asked or need information you can contact me either by phone or email. I will speak to you soon Carlyn, take care guys."
"Yeah, thanks Dr. Wilson, for everything" I tell her as Brendon hangs up the call.
"FUCK! This is gonna be a hell of a journey Brendon. How are we gonna cope with this on top of the pregnancy?"
"Hey, we'll manage babe. We have roughly 4 weeks left of this leg of the tour then we are home for 3 and a half months."
"I suppose" I say unconvincingly.
"C'mere" he says wrapping his arms around me. "Don't worry about anything, leave that to me. I don't want you stressing about anything, ok?"
"Bren, you can't carry all of this, you have shows to perform."
"Carlyn, that's my job, as your husband. In sickness and in health, remember? Who shouldered all the stress and worry when I had my accident?....mmmmm?"
"Fine, im not arguing with you. I don't have the strength." I tell him planting a kiss on his lips.
As Brendon heads off to collect my meds it's time to get the girls and their things ready for our flight.

** Brendon's POV **

Heading off to pick up Carlyn's meds gives me time to process the phone call that we just received. The next few months are going to be tough, especially for Carlyn. I was so focused on Carlyn during the call but now I can feel my anxiety starting to rise. How are we going to manage? What side effects will the Chemo cause? Will the baby be ok? Will Carlyn be OK? I feel so fuckn helpless.
Before I know it I've arrived at Lenox Hill and I make my way to reception.
"Hi, I'm here to pick up medication for Carlyn Urie."
"Ah yes Mr Urie. Dr. Wilson would like a quick word with you. I'll let her know you're here."
"Umm.....sure." Why does she need to speak to me without Carlyn.
"Brendon, sorry this won't take a minute." Dr Wilson says coming to greet me.
"I just wanted to quickly go over Carlyn's meds with you. She will need to take 2 tablets 3 times a day. Can you make sure she doesn't forget any doses. Also, I wanted to highlight some of the side effects that Carlyn will most certainly suffer from."
"Ok...."
"The main and most common ones are trouble sleeping, fatigue, general weakness, nausea & vomiting, loss of appetite, weight loss, hair loss, mouth sores, bleeding gums. I did'nt want to overwhelm Carlyn any more than she already is."
"I understand.."
"Brendon, you will really need to keep a close eye on her. Chemo is really hard on patients, but with Carlyn being pregnant, she's going to feel even worse. The next 2-3 months are going to be very hard on all of you."
"I will, I swear."
"I know you will. Good luck, and if you have any questions or co concerns, please don't hesitate to get in touch."
With that, she's off to see her next patient, leaving me to wonder what the hell is in front of us.