Viva Las Vengeance

I Got One More Run

** Brendon's POV **

This leg of the tour is almost coming to an end. We are back home for a few nights before heading out to Las Vegas. Tonight, we play Inglewood and then have another couple of nights at home before flying to Vegas. Skai and Ava are enjoying being back home and enjoying having plenty of space to let off steam. Carlyn and I have been busy getting the nursery prepared for Taylor's arrival. Dan and Minka have been a great help. At first, I wasn't sure about Dan when he moved in next door. Sure, we all got along in high school, but secretly, I always thought he had a thing for Carlyn. I must admit I did get a little jealous of the time he was spending with Carlyn and our kids when she left the PFTW Tour. Don't get me wrong, she had every right to leave, and I deserved everything that happened, but if it wasn't for Dan I honestly think she would have taken the girls and walked away from our marriage at that time and for that i am truly thankful. I tend not to dwell on that time, but it's only now watching her raising our girls, growing our son, and fighting this cancer battle that I see how strong she is. There are times that it actually scares me because I know if I ever fuck up and hurt her again there is no doubt in my mind that she could do all of this on her own.

When we were in Nashville, Carlyn had her oncologist appointment, and currently, the chemo has reduced the tumour slightly, which is good news. She's handling the side effects better now, well, apart from the hair loss. However, the wigs look so real and like her own hair, you can't tell that it's not. She's now 31 weeks pregnant and just completed her first cycle of chemo. She has one week off before she starts the next round. She also had a routine obgyn appointment, and Taylor is growing nicely. It's hard to believe that we will soon be a family of 5.
Over the last few weeks, I've been feeling a little weary. After Taylor is born, we are due to start the European leg of our tour. Carlyn is also due to have her surgery when we are away, and in all honesty, I don't like the fact that I won't be here to support her. If I'm truthful, I have been toying with the idea of disbanding Panic! I'd like to spend time at home with my family just being Brendon, the husband, and dad. I don't want to have any regrets about missing out on seeing our kids grow up. I've been in the band for 18 years. It's all we have ever known, and to be honest, even though we were in the midst of a pandemic, it was actually really nice just being at home with my family. I've yet to bring this up with Carlyn as I don't want to stress her out any more than she already is. We need to be realistic. After surgery, she's going to need a lot of help at home. Plus, she'll need more chemotherapy before her reconstruction surgery, all the while seeing to the girls and looking after a newborn. I can not lay all that responsibility at her feet or anyone else's for that matter. This is my family, the MOST important thing in my life.

I might speak to Pete and Patrick about it, seeing as they've already been there when FOB took their hiatus.

** Timeskip Two days later **

**Carlyn's POV **

We are on our way to Las Vegas for tonight's show our flight lands in 20 minutes. It's almost 4 years since we were last here. Every time we come back, it brings back so many memories, some good, some bad. Growing up here, meeting Brendon for the first time. My first Job working at the Waffle Place in the Mall.
The family arguments about grades, attitudes, and boyfriends oh and of course the fallout from our families regarding our wedding.
I can feel Brendon squeezing my hand
"Babe. stop looking back and going over all the shit that happened. It's in the past.."
"I know,' I sigh,'but I can't help it. There's just so many memories here, Bren. Ghosts from the past that we never really dealt with after we left."
"Yeah, well, they made it perfectly clear that if we went ahead with the wedding, not to bother coming back. So we didn't..."
"I know, Bren. it still gets to me at times how they could just cut us off like that. I could never do that to any of our kids..."
"Neither could I, Carly, but that's on them. Look at everything they're missing out on. 2 beautiful granddaughters and a grandson that they will never know.."

Once we arrive at the venue, the girls are delighted to be able to skate around during the soundcheck. Tonight all our friends are coming to the show. Pete, Patrick, and their families as well as Dan and Minka, Gérard, Lyn-z and Bandit. What Brendon doesn't know is that I have arranged for Spencer and Linda to be here. They are due to arrive just before Panic! take to the stage. Brendon's been like a cat on a hot tin roof most of the afternoon, like something is bugging him. Whenever I ask what's wrong, he just tells me he's fine.

** Showtime **

Pre show drink ritual and warm-ups have been completed, and Spencer and Linda are about to walk through the door.
As Brendon wraps his arms around me, he begins to talk.
"Who would have thought 18 years ago we would be here playing sold-out shows. All those doubters that said we would never make it and that we would amount to nothing ...."
"We believed it, Bren, all the hard work and commitment that you all put in. You deserve every part of it. All our friends are here to celebrate with us. Go out there and enjoy every damn minute..."
"I will, it's just a pity Spence couldn't be here tonight.."
"Actually," I say, turning to kiss him just as the door opens.
"For christ's sake, can you pair not keep your hands to yourselves for 2 minutes." Brendon's head shoots up in surprise.
"Spencer!! what the hell are you doing here? I thought you couldn't make it." he shouts, grabbing Spencer in a bear hug.
"Carlyn had already planned this before you invited us. We wanted to surprise you."
"Well, you definitely did that. It's great to see you both. Look, can I run something by you quickly? I have an idea, but only if you're up for it?"
"Sure, what do you have in mind?