This Is Me Trying

Chapter Twelve

Regina had spent seven months away from Emma, the woman she was in love with and was never able to say those words just in case they couldn't make it through these trying times. She was petrified over losing her, the only person who has ever loved her and wasn't forced or obligated to-and even those people never truly loved her besides her cousin. She was determined not to lose her girlfriend even though the odds of them surviving was slim to none.

Every day, she made a conscious effort to at least send a text message once a day to check in. On the slower days, or when she was in between functions or on a break, she would FaceTime Emma and Henry so it felt like she was still a constant in their lives. Besides, Henry is so small and she doesn't want him to forget her. But this wasn't just a one way street, Emma put in the effort too; sending adorable pictures of Henry or selfies of her face making all kinds of weird expressions that fit appropriately with their topic of conversation. And somehow, through the thousands of messages, she fell even more in love.

They survived the drought and now they are back together again and she needs to tell Emma how she truly feels. She needs to show this woman how much she appreciates her for being so patient and supportive during this time apart. She needs to say the three little words she never had a chance to say when they were locked away in Maine.

So, she prepares a bath for Emma after the first show, the bathroom glowing with candles and so much love and attention. Emma calls her out on the fact that she had never done anything like this for someone before which made Regina blush profusely and even more nervous. She's never said those words, not even to her own mother, so how the hell is she going to scrounge up the courage to say them to an amazing woman who deserves so much more than she could ever be?

Emma beat her to the punch.

"Regina, I think I'm falling in love with you," Emma whispers behind her ear and seals the confession with a lingering kiss just behind her earlobe.

Regina whips around abruptly, wide-eyed in utter shock and sending water to lap over the lip of the tub because that was supposed to be her line. "What?"

"I don't think I'm falling in love with you," Emma quietly confesses. "I-I do love you, Regina."

Regina's jaw juts out as her big brown eyes scan every inch of her girlfriend's face. Fat tears well up in her curious eyes and she chokes on her next choice of words because it's not just her. She's not in this alone.

"You love me?"

"Yes," Emma timidly confirms.

"You can't."

"But I already do."

"Promise?"

Emma nods slowly, tenderly curling a wet chunk of hair behind Regina's ear. "I promise."

"Okay good, because I love you, too," Regina breathes out in a rush, persuading the goofiest grin to smear across Emma's lips.

That moment is burned into Regina's mind, nothing could ever erase such a beautiful memory. As much as she wanted to leap out of the tub and write a whole notebook of love songs for Emma, she stayed in her lover's arms and talked, only to fall even more in love.

She is turning into a huge sap but there's not a damn thing she can do to stop these feelings when Emma loves her the way that she does.

She's a breath of fresh air with her honesty, openness, and ability to love so fully without any reservations. She's like that rush of exhilaration the moment Regina finishes writing a song and she knows in her heart it's going to be a hit. Her love is like the soothing balm of aloe after a long day burning under a sun. Emma's love is like walking into a grandmother's home and breathing in the home-cooked meal that makes a child feel so warm and protected. Regina never had grandparents, not that she can remember, but it's how she feels when Mary Margret hugs her.