Trevek: Hosting Feelings

Simple

Derek's POV:
Trevor seems frozen. His breathing  slow, his posture tight and his eyes sparkling. Shit.

I wasn't trying to upset him or anything and downplay the importance of telling someone you love them; I was caught in the moment and just reacted.

I was surprised by how much I meant it when I said it though. Even though it was casual, I genuinely do love Trevor, I have since before we started dating.

The fact that neither of us has said it before now is wild. I assumed it always went without saying but never really gave it any thought.

He's just staring at me; he looks so sad, I can't take it.

"Trevor, babe, are you ok." All he does is blink in response. "Look, I'm sorry I said something so important so hastily; I'm an idiot. I was just caught up in the mood of the moment, I would never want to hurt you."

He walks over to me but doesn't say anything. It's kinda scaring me. "Just so you know, I completely mean what I said, you know, I really do love you, and sorry I didn't say it until now. Your boyfriends a dumbass and he's very sorry so can you talk to him now?"

When I panic, I speak in the second person, apparently. Why is he just standing there. Say something dammit, anything. Even if you're mad, even if you... "Trevs, babe, talk to me; I'm really sorry I know I was dumb and stupid and an idiot and maybe I hurt your feelings, and maybe I don't always express myself the best and maybe I don't always seriously tell you how much you mean to me but I promise to from now on, just please say something because I can't take the silent treat-"

My nonsensical rambling is cut off by Trevor hugging me. Suddenly, a wave of relief spreads through me. I don't think I've been so afraid of silence before. I can tell he's still crying over my shoulder, but that breathing he's doing sounds like...is he, laughing?

Trevor's POV:
He said it. He actually said it. I always knew, of course, but hearing it. Hearing it kinda broke me for a second. Suddenly, I felt all kinds of feelings all at once: suprise, relief, validation, warmth. Warmth isn't even a feeling, but I definitely felt it.

I got so emotional, all I could do was cry. Now, all I wanna do is hug him and never let go.

"Oh Derek, I can't believe you said that, I'm so happy right now I think I'm gonna die." My hearts beating so fast I feel like it could explode.

"Wait, so you're not mad, your happy?" He asked, sounding completely dumbfounded.

" Of course I'm happy, you told me you love me, why wouldn't I be."

"Because I said it so casually, and I just thought you wanted it to be said more seriously since it's the first time I'm saying it."

"What? That's silly, I was just overwhelmed by you saying it is all. I mean, obviously, I know you do it's just when I heard it, it triggered some kinda of primal response. It was actually kind of scary."

Derek holds me by the shoulders, looking straight into my eyes. "Scary? SCARY!" He raises his voice. "No. Scary is not knowing what's going on with your boyfriend, thinking he hates you because you don't take your relationship seriously. Thinking you fucked things up with a single line, thats what's fucking scary, you asshole.

He keeps swiping at his face towards his eyes. Trying to hide his tears. Wow, he was really upset by my silence.

He suddenly hugs me tight, and I can feel his heart racing. I hug him back and relish how special what we have is. "I don't wanna do anything to lose you, you idiot." He mutters. Dammit hes so adorable.

" Baby, you couldn't lose me if you tried, because I..."

"Boys, dinners ready, come and eat before it gets cold."

My mom's voice intterupts me. This whole dramtic debacle seemed like it lasted hours, but I guess happened in the span of five minutes.

" We should probly go down." I urge to Derek. Maybe I'll give my big confession after dinner... Then again...

I spin on my heels and get really close to Derek and whisper, "Because I love you too." I seal my declaration with a quick kiss and leave the room. I glance back at Derek and watch him go from shocked to contemplative to happy all in 3 seconds. All I see is him smiling as I walk down the stairs. That was simple.