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"how about....we adopted a baby?"

minho choked on his food, taking his lemonade and gulping it, trying to get the food that was stuck in his throat to fall down.

"what?"

"we....could adopt a kid?"
jisung said, kind of unsure now after seeing how minho reacted.

"uhm....do you think this is the right time?"
minho asked, not in a mean way tho, he just wasn't exactly sure if this was the best time.

"I mean, we are married three years already, and I thought that maybe....maybe we could adopt?"

minho wasn't sure about the idea.
I mean, he was a kpop idol, and he was going through his most famous era.

that wasn't the reason he wasn't sure about the idea of adopting a baby tho.

being on top of the industry meant that Minho had to work a lot now, do a lot of interviews and collaborations.
he was going home a lot later than he normally would, and that lasted about six months already.

if they adopted a baby right now, jisung would have to stay with the baby 24/7, because Minho wouldn't be able to ditch work and go help with the baby.

minho didn't want that.
jisung was still dealing with his mental health issues, and putting more stress on him didn't seem like the best thing to do.

the most important thing was jisungs well being, and minho didn't want jisung to start resenting minho, because he isn't able to be here for him and the baby.

"jisung, do you think it's a good idea?"

"I mean....yes..? you don't?"

minho sighed.
"jisung, I want to have a family with you someday, but I don't think this is the right time to adopt. you know that I'm coming home late every single day, sometimes I'm not coming home at all, how do you think I will be able to help you with the baby? I mean, yes, you're home most of the time, but I don't want to put all the stress parents should experience and share together only on you. and your mental health still isn't the best. It's true that you have gotten better these past couple years and I'm super proud of you for it, but I don't want to put more stress on you. adopting baby would mean more responsibility for both of us, and with my job, I don't think we would be able to manage.
adopting a kid is totally different from soonie, doongie and dori. you just have to feed them and give them your attention, they don't require almost anything, but kids can get sick, they will have some important moments in their life, and I do not want to miss on that, jisung. I don't want my kid to have some important thing that I wouldn't be able to attend, because of my job. I would hate myself for that. what if our kids said their first words and I wouldn't hear them? I don't want that, jisung. I don't want to be the father who is absent, I want to be the cool dad who will do everything with his children and make them feel important. I want to be the kind of dad who attends every single event their kids have, even if it isn't important. I want my kids to tell their future friends how fun and amazing their dad is, and about every adventure we did. I want my kids to trust me with their every secret, and I want to be there for my kids. I want to be a good dad, jisung." minho said.

jisung was looking at him, listening every word minho was saying.
he had to admit, minho made a really good point.

"I mean, when you put it like that, it does really sound like a bad idea."
jisung said, kind of quietly.

"no no no, it's not a bad idea, and I'm glad you brought it up, but it's just not the right time, you know?" minho gave a small smile to jisung and took his hand.

Jisung returned the small smile.
"yeah, I understand. thank you for bringing your opinion on this to light. I'm pretty sure you will be an amazing dad someday."

minho took jisungs hand and kissed it.
"let's wash the dishes now, shall we?"

jisung nodded, and the two boys got up and went to the sink, where was a few dirty dishes already.

minho started washing them, while jisung dried them and put them back into their place.

it was kind of awkward, because there was silence surrounding them.

normally, they just spoke about everything that came into their mind, but now, they just quietly washed the dishes.

minho couldn't sleep that night.

jisung was already sleeping, his head resting on Minhos chest, while minho had his arm around the younger.

he was thinking about this entire situation.
about adopting.

honestly, he himself wanted to have a kid, but at the same time, how would it turn out?

what if he agreed to adopt and then he wouldn't be able to be here, and jisung would have a break down?

what if jisung forgot to take his meds, because he would have to take care of the baby and wouldn't take care of himself, and he would have an episode?

what if the exact same thing that happened few years back happened again?

what if he found himself in a hospital, while absolutely drained, unhealthy and unhappy jisung would he laying in the bed, unconscious?

no, he wouldn't risk that.
he couldn't.

so, even when he wished to have a kid on his own, he tried to ignore these thoughts and focus on what's best for jisung and him.

and the best thing for them was to wait.

the only thing minho hoped was that he wasn't doing a mistake.

choosing his career over something important.

I'm getting sense of dejavú.

A/N
sorry for not updating, no motivation😭👍🏻

I just wanted to remind you that you don't need to stress yourself, okay?

I'm pretty sure you're doing a good job at everything you're doing right now, and if something bad happens, don't worry, I'm sure it will be better💕

I'm here for you, I'm here to remind you that you're beautiful, that you're perfect and that you matter, okay?

so go and eat some good food, scream as loud as you want, do everything you want and what you wish to do, because you only live once <3

bye my loves, remember I love you💕