WangXian Forever Book 10

Chapter 6: Core

They part ways inside the Jingshi, telling Li XiWang to rest back inside her own bedroom. Rumi follows her in with his own blanket and curls up next to his tired sister, who falls asleep as soon as Lan Zhan promises to wake her up in time for her first lesson.

Wei Ying knows Lan Zhan wants to talk to him about something, and he can guess what it's about. Lan Zhan brings him to their bed and pulls him down so they're lying next to each other.

They're sharing the same pillow, and Wei Ying can feel the warmth of Lan Zhan's breath ghosting on his cheeks. He looks worried.

Perhaps, no one else would be able to tell except maybe XiChen, but Wei Ying knows from the tiny crease in his forehead. His hand comes up anyway as he gently rubs against it with his thumb, needing to erase it.

"What is it?" He whispers.

Lan Zhan suddenly sits up, flings silencing talismans against both doors, the one leading outside and the children's bedroom door, before pulling Wei Ying into his arms as soon as he lies down again.

"Talk to me, my love. Why are you so worried?" Wei Ying strokes his hair, feeling Lan Zhan relax fully just from this small gesture.

"Back in the forest, you mentioned your core."

Wei Ying naturally stiffens without meaning to, and it's a conscious effort to relax his tense muscles. He waits for Lan Zhan to go on.

"Do you," he pauses as if searching for the correct words, and then, "do you still think about your old core?"

The words rush out of his mouth like water breaking through a dam, as if he's scared for Wei Ying.

"Not intentionally," Wei Ying confesses. He's silent after that, thinking about how to answer fully.

Time passes by measured only by their breaths and neither one is in any hurry to finish this conversation. Perhaps, they should have discussed this before and Lan Zhan wonders why they haven't really talked about it.

He's always thought Wei Ying was beyond any normal standards of bravery; truly attempting the impossible. He remembers his own deep, visceral pain at the discovery of this horrible truth, when he realised what exactly Wei Ying had done. But that was just the beginning of his own trauma; he didn't think it could get any worse until he learned about the actual procedure from Wen Ning. He shivers, thinking about the success rate being only fifty percent, and then about the number of things that could have gone wrong during the operation itself, the transferring of his golden core to Jiang WanYin.

He stamps down the rational anger that always seems to flare when thinking about the Jiang Sect Leader.

Such an ungrateful man, so selfish in his ways and unable to say a kind word to his own albeit adopted brother, and that was AFTER he knew about the transplant.

But then, Jiang WanYin has also changed slightly, those rough edges being slowly worn down by the waters of Wei Ying's natural charm. It is not ideal, but Lan Zhan must accept them for what they are, because after all, the man has married XiChen, his brother.

Maybe XiChen is responsible for some of those changes as well.

"At the time, it was hard."

Wei Ying's words pull Lan Zhan from his thoughts. His hold tightens around Wei Ying's body, eager to comfort him.

"Then, all I could think of was Madam Yu's last words to me, telling me that I must protect Jiang Cheng, even with my life. And when he woke up after we rescued him from Lotus Pier...you should have seen him, Lan Zhan. I've never seen him so heartbroken, so utterly done with his life. I was scared. He pushed at me and I hardly felt it, and then he said that he had used his maximum strength doing that.

"I don't know who was more devastated, him or me. His outburst of rage, his helplessness, his words...He refused to eat or drink anything until Wen Qing and I came up with a plan."

Lan Zhan can imagine what Jiang WanYin must have said then. His words would have been full of anger and frustration, but he would not have held back his vitriol, always venting on the one person who would take it, the one person who pretended Jiang WanYin didn't mean his harsh response to circumstances that were beyond their control. Even if they had all been so young then, even then, Lan Zhan doubts he would have reacted in the same way.

"To me, I understand why you did it," he says honestly to Wei Ying. "But I have never understood your relationship with your brother, why he is so belligerent, so antagonistic towards you. I do not like how he treats you."

"I know." Wei Ying leans back to caress his face, his thumb tracing the curve of his soft cheek. "I...in the past, I would probably have said that it's just the way he is. But I guess we've both changed now. Too many years have gone by."

And wasn't that the crux of the matter?

However he thought about it, nothing could change the past and talking about it just stirred up murky waters that were better left untouched.

"I hated that you went through all of that all by yourself. I hate that I didn't understand...but I should have trusted you. I should have- I wish that I was not the way I was with you," Lan Zhan needs to say this, has been wanting to say this for so long.

"Hush, hush, my love," Wei Ying wipes under his eyes, the tears of frustration and sorrow falling from his beautiful golden eyes. "We were both so young. I didn't blame you, I just felt so sad all the time, and I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to disappoint you, either. Everything was falling apart and it felt like every step I took was teetering on a knife's edge, just death and destruction on either side waiting for me." He shudders. "It doesn't matter any more. I have a new core now and I think we both have to let it go." He yawns, smiling when Lan Zhan does the same.

"Did you know, you can really mess with someone when they're about to sneeze by yelling Pineapple? It really works. Jiang Cheng hates it when I do that!" He snickers. "You know, this is valuable nap time. We should totally take advantage of it."

"Sleeping during the day is forbidden, rule number-"

"Four hundred and sixty-five, I know. But that's one of the stupid ones, and we'll be quick. No one will know!" Wei Ying begins to stroke his back, a surefire way of getting Lan Zhan to close his eyes. He does it for five more minutes and then Lan Zhan is out, his lovely pink lips slightly puckered in his sleep.

Nap times were golden and Wei Ying thinks he'll just have to work a bit harder at selling that particular point. He closes his eyes as well, soothed by the systematic beating of a heart under his ear dearer than his own.