WangXian Forever Book 10

Chapter 38: Remorse

No matter how many times Wei Ying has had to pass on bad news, he can never get used to it. He knows better than anyone else how horrible it is to lose a loved one, to know that the chance to talk to them has been missed forever once they have passed away. Inquiry and Empathy were good skills to have, but they were in no way a sufficient enough substitute for the real thing.

"Explain. Why did you say that?" Tang Pei says again, with a hard tone.

Wei Ying forces himself to make eye contact and keep it with him. "You recognise the coin, so you can trust us. About three months ago, give or take a few weeks, we were out on the town In Yunmeng and a man crashed into me, knocking me down. Now that I think about it, he looked scared. He used that collision to plant this coin in my robes. As you can see, it weighs hardly anything, so we didn't discover it until a few days ago. Has it really only been three days since then?" Wei Ying turns to Lan Zhan, who nods seriously.

"What happened to my brother?" Tang Pei asks again, pulling him back on track. "I assume he fell down too?"

"Yes, but he was being chased by thugs. They lost track of him so we didn't think anything of it. But inquiries were made a few days ago, after we discovered the coin. A trusted person reported back to us that a body had been found not far from the markets. They said it stood out because his outer robes were plain like a farmer's might be, but his inner robes were made from the finest silks. Our person even speculated that there was talk among those that knew about the body that his clothes were so rich and of a good quality that he must be employed by the Emperor. For what it's worth, I'm sorry about your brother."

Tang Pei looks lost. A myriad of emotions cross over his face, as the disbelief and anger seep away, leaving only a deep sorrow.

No one says anything for a while.

And then Tang Pei jerks, a body spasm that brings him back to life. He scrubs his face with both hands, as if he can erase the bad news from his mind.

"I'm trying to blame you for not helping him," he says quietly, with his shoulders sagging as if he's giving up. "But the blame of his death cannot be placed on your doorstep. It is the First Prince and his conniving advisors who are responsible for the taking of my brother's life. He was my baby brother," he stifles a sob. "We were twins but he was born after me. When I...w-when I knew that, I swore to protect him. But I am a terrible older brother. Useless!" He covers his face and begins to cry quietly.

Wei Ying goes to sit next to him.

There's no point in saying anything yet because Tang Pei is not ready to listen. They let him cry instead. There's a jug and a cup on the table, so Wei Ying pours some water out for him. When he's ready, Wei Ying makes him drink it.

"There's a rule engraved on the Wall of Discipline back home," he says gently, when he has Tang Pei's attention. "Do not grieve in excess. I never understood it. How is one supposed to know how much is excess? Is it a day? A week? A month? Isn't it different for everyone? Grief happens because we cannot see that person anymore, there is no way we can hear their words or share a drink with them once they're gone. But I learned the hard way, that those we love are never far from our hearts. Those that we love the most usually love us back in the same way, and so I think your younger brother would be quite upset if he knew you were so sad. I think he loved you very much and because he was younger than you, he must have looked up to you. I think he would want you to be kinder to yourself. And the best way to honour his life is to find his murderers. We can help you."

Tang Pei nods quietly, staring at his hands.

"So tell me, what kind of proof are you looking for?"

"I am going through all the official correspondence of His Highness, looking for anything that might implicate the First Prince. But I suspect I am not the only one going through his papers."