Scope of Life || Yeonbin

chapter 6: the morning after

Soobin's POV:

It was awkward in the morning, not speaking much to Yeonjun at all. He made me breakfast and everything, but I'm too embarrassed to say anything. Even now while we're in the car on the way to work, I can't figure out what to say. I'm not sure what to do either, fiddling with my fingers in my lap. He was quiet too, but I'm not sure if he's just reading my own behavior and choosing to stay quiet, or if he's like this all the time.

It almost spooked me when he spoke, "How're you doing?..." He said softly, glancing at me for a moment before looking back at the road, "Sorry, you seemed anxious earlier, so I didn't want to ask. But you still seem anxious."

I pressed my lips together in a thin line, "Yeah, sorry." I quietly said, fidgeting in my seat a little. I didn't really know what to say, or in what tone to reply. I don't want him to pity me, but at the same time, I don't want to lie and act like I'm fine.

"Did you umm..." He started, trying his best to keep the conversation going, "Did you text your therapist last night?"

I shook my head, and then remembered that he was looking at the road, "No, I didn't want to bother her. I see her after work today anyways."

He paused for a moment before asking, "Did you write in your notebook?"

I shook my head again, "No." I replied, watching the trees fly by us as Yeonjun drove.

"Do you want to talk about it?..." He asked, and it made me turn my head to him. He glanced at me for a moment before he had to look back at the road, "I-I know I'm not a therapist, but if you need someone to talk to other than her, I'll listen."

I dryly swallowed, looking down at my lap and realizing that I've been playing with my fingers this whole time. I cleared my throat, taking my hands away from each other and rubbing my palms over my pants to get the sweat off, "I-I'm sorry about last night. About waking you up and scaring you."

"Oh, you don't have to apologize..." He said, hesitating for a moment, "You keep deflecting whenever I ask how you're doing. We don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to, but I at least want to know if you're alright..." He seemed calm and collected, basically the opposite of me in this moment. He had one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on the center console, "And it's ok to admit that you're not ok."

I sighed, squeezing my thighs a little from the anxiousness, "I think I'm ok."

He didn't fight me on it, "Ok..." He quietly said, turning into the parking lot at work. He had to stop and scan his key card, making his way to his assigned parking spot right after. When he turned the key to switch off the engine, everything went quiet. He held his keys in his hand, and then looked at me, "Soobin, people care about you. I care about you; our team cares about you; your therapist cares about you; your family cares about you..." He said slowly, trying to get his point across, "Seriously, if you need anything, all you have to do is ask. Even if it's just a five-minute break or if you need to get some air or something, ok? You're not bothering any of us."

I softly smiled, nodding my head in response, "Thank you."

~ ~ ~

I was a bit nervous as I made my way up to the fifth floor, hugging my notebook against my chest. We only had one call today and it wasn't anything stressful, which is a relief. When the elevator dinged, I stepped out into the office space. The same woman was there, picking her head up from her computer when she noticed me. She was on the phone, giving me a smile, nonetheless.

She brought her hand up, covering the microphone and whispering, "Dr. Hwang is in her office. Go ahead, I'll mark you down."

I gave her a little smile back, knowing at least one of my dimples showed, "Thank you." I whispered back.