Scope of Life || Yeonbin

chapter 10: realizations are horrifying

Soobin's POV:

All of us agreed to go out tonight to take the edge off. We've been getting more and more calls in the last week, barely have been able to keep up. We haven't had a single day where we've gone home when we're supposed to, but at least I haven't had to pull the trigger on anyone. All of us are exhausted, but Chan suggested we hang out at the local bar, have a few beers, and relax for a little while. Everyone else thought it was a good idea too, so of course, I wasn't going to say 'no'.

I took a deep breath when I parked my car, hesitating for a moment before I got out. With social occasions like these, I get really anxious. I've definitely gotten better after going to therapy, but you know, I'm still working on it. It's just all the people, the loud music, the suffocating smell of smoke and alcohol that makes me not be able to breathe. Although, this bar usually isn't too packed, still too much for my liking, but not the worst.

I could already hear the music when I was walking towards the entrance, taking another deep breath. I showed the security guard my ID before I entered, scanning the crowd for my teammates. There was more people than usual, closing my eyes for a moment and taking another deep breath so I didn't get too overwhelmed.

Changbin was the first person I saw, chatting with the bartender. A huge smile was on his face, weaving in and out of people to get closer. I tapped his shoulder when he was done talking, and he turned to me in an instant. His smile went wider, "Hey! You finally made it!..." He said, raising his voice so I could hear him over the music. He patted my shoulder, "Everyone is sitting at the table over there..." He added, pointing in the opposite direction of the bar.

I looked over, seeing my entire team chatting away at one of the bigger tables. It was in the corner, we always sit at that table. I guess when you're in this field of work, you never take chances anywhere you go. You can see everything when you're in the corner of the room, and that table has the best vantage point. I honestly couldn't tell you the number of fights we've had to break up in here over the years.

Yeonjun was on the right side, his elbows on the table and his fingers interlaced together. He was giggling about something, getting lost in the way his hair—

"I'm just getting everyone some drinks!..." Changbin said, knocking me out of what I was thinking. I turned back to him, "Go sit! I'll be over in a second!"

I nodded, turning on my heel and beginning to walk over in that direction. I noticed more things as I got closer, bumping into far too many people for my liking. Yeonjun's hair was still a bit damp from showering, falling over his eyes a little. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt and some jeans, showing off his muscles a bit. He was leaning forward on the table so he could hear what Chan was saying, a soft smile on his lips as well.

Stop looking at him.

I averted my gaze, smiling at everyone when they finally noticed me. Ryujin spoke first, "Soobin! What's up?!" She asked, leaning back in her chair.

I shrugged, "Not much." I replied, taking the open seat next to Yeonjun. I felt the vibration of the chair squeaking against the floor, but the music was too loud to hear it.

My legs were shaking back and forth, a rhythmic motion I do subconsciously when I'm anxious. I placed my hands in my lap, interlacing my fingers. I felt stiff, not being able to release the tension in my shoulders, "We were telling Yeonjun about that guy who was on the team before him. Remember Rick?" Chan asked, smiling at me.

I nodded, and Taehyun chimed in, "God, he was fucking terrible!"

Ryujin rolled her eyes, "Could barely hold his rifle steady."