A statement of a soul | Raphael x Reader

11. A reminder

When you are alone with your thoughts, you allow yourself for a moment of vulnerability. You subconsciously move towards the tall bowl with the dirty bedsheets and fill a nearby bucket with some water from the hot springs pool, then pour it inside and start doing the laundry.

You can feel a discomfort at the back of your throat, a grasp, not too tight, but enough to be noticeable. You readjust your neck, but you know that the sensation is caused by the anxiety and your rampaging mind.

Following your wisdom, you decide to give into your thoughts and become an observer, trying to find the root of the crippling discomfort. Your hands continue to work on a scrubbing board as you venture deep into your mind.

Almost immediately, you are greeted with memories from the last few hours spent at your monastery. You can feel the trace of a man's fingers on your chin and without even realizing it, your face twists with disgust. You tense for a moment, and wipe the water from your cheek, then continue scrubbing the bedsheets.

The shadow trace on your jaw vanishes and you see three old monks in front of you, the one in between them, the oldest and most experienced one, pointing his veiny but strong finger at the door.

You huff and bring a hand to your neck, rubbing the top of your spine. You acknowledge the reactions of your body, the lump at the back of the throat, the rising feeling of anger inside your chest, making a mental note of them. Then, you allow your mind to alter the course of your thoughts and soon you observe your thoughts showing you the memories of Haarlep - them standing in front of your tent, telling you about them making fortune with Raphael's body. You immediately notice how your body responds in the same way, the same anger starting to boil deep inside your chest, tightening your ribs.

You move to your knees and take a deep, controlled breath inside, allowing it to expand your stiff chest, push the ribs and travel down to the belly. The muscles retract as you exhale and you consciously start synchronizing your body with your mind, as you now managed to address the issue at hand.

There is a small cracking sound and the door to the bathroom opens. You glance above your shoulder and see Raphael in his human form. You twist your body to face him, while comfortably sitting on your knees.

'Do you wish to use the bathroom?' you ask him.

He looks around the steaming pool and cups his chin with left hand.

'It will need to suffice,' he responds.