Gambler's Ruin [Remastered]

Archive of Original

[this is the Origonal Chapter, published 19th Feb 2023. i'm keeping this here for historical purposes]

"Rock, Paper, scissors" said both cuphead and the devil. Cuphead drew a rock and the devil drew paper.

The entire stadium was silent. Cuphead stumbled backwards, hands clasping his cup. "No no no no no no no" he muttered to himself and he staggered back to his friends.

Things took a few seconds to sink into the devil, after the moment of shock had passed he screamed "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS" and slowly started walking towards the cups, savouring every moment.

Cuphead Mugman and chalice all had a group hug and unleashed an incoherent babble of sentiment

Cuphead: "i'm so sorry i should have chosen better this is all my fault, mugman you are the best brother ever and cha..."

Mugman: "Cuphead you doofus, your the best brother i could have asked for and chalice you,ve been an amazing frien..."

Chalice: "you two dong-dongs are the best things that has ever happened to me, i should have told you that i..."

All of that verbal spew was cut short by the devil finally reaching the huddle of cups.

"Your debts finally caught up with you, you porcelain perpetrators !" the devil reached out and grabbed cuphead and Mugman's souls, leaving monochrome soul-les zombies, which both walked off in opposite directions.

"And now for you, Ms Chalice!" he said, turning and pointing his pitchfork at chalice.

"w-w-wait" she stuttered "i have one last deal to make."

"You have nothing left to lose Ms Chalice, therefore I have nothing left to gain from you," he thrust his pitchfork at Chalice, stabbing her in the chest. She looked at the devil, with a look of horror on her face.

!!KABOOM!!

An explosion blasted forth from the tip of the pitchfork, disintegrating Chalice. The devil reached out and grabbed the ghost/soul that floated, where chalice once stood.he then danced back to the elevator, humming and scating.

"Way to go boss" congratulated henchman "good show"

"Victory has never felt so sweet," he replied. They both stepped into the elevator, souls in hand, and descended into hell.

Someone in the audience exclaimed

"wait! I didn't know I was clapping for the devil to steal children's souls!" there was a murmur of agreement throughout the crowd. "Well, it's not our problem now, '' said another audience member. There were more murmurs of agreement as the crowd dispersed into Inkwell city.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the cottage, Elder Kettle was relaxing, reading the newspaper and listening to the radio. Kettle then heard a knock at the door and heard a muffled, nasal voice say

"ummm excuse me." Kettle got up and answered the door to see a small blue child with horns.

"I am stickler, auditor of hell," said stickler "are you Elder Kettle the official guardian and grandfather of Cuphead and Mugman and unofficial caretaker of Ms Chalice"

"Errrrr, i guess so," he replied

"I am here to inform you that all of their souls have been legally harvested by the devil"

"Oh thats oka..." and them it dawned on him" WHAT! HOW IS IT LEGAL TO TAKE THE SOULS OF MY BOYS! oh and Chalice too"

"Cuphead and Mugman both made a deal with the devil and chalice died"