The Angel in Hell

N O T H I N G

Housesong by Searows<3

~ 

There it was again. That familiar crunch of gravel beneath the heavy tires of an expensive car. Delilah woke slowly, for a moment rolling in the bliss and safety of arriving at Saltburn. Maybe they had found Felix and brought him home all before she woke up, maybe he would be in his bed waiting for her in the pyjamas she laid out for him all those months ago. Maybe he had just gone away to buy the three of them a little house in the south of France, or Italy, or Spain, somewhere for them to live as a family, away from the darkness. Maybe now, as they were rolling into Saltburn, Delilah was actually arriving to collect all the boxes Felix had packed up for them.

But of course not, that would all be too perfect. Instead, the family was rolling into the Cattons coastal home, located right on the cornish beach so it looked over the rolling sea. It was raining and grey, naturally. That's the way everything was recently. The weight of everything that was now so familiar stayed put, not reliving anyone in the family for even a second. Like ghosts of themselves, everyone got out of the car and stretched their legs and backs from the long journey. Maids tiptoed across the driveway and collected everyone's bags from the boot, hurrying them inside to unpack for the family. Sir James picked up his phone that had actually been ringing for some time now. Nobody had noticed. Nobody was present.

'Are you sure?' He questioned the person, probably Craig, on the other end of the line. 'You're certain? Alright- Alright see you at 3.' He hung up the phone.

'What was that about, Darling?' Elsbeth said absently.

'Agents have noticed uh- a pattern in Felix's behaviour- he goes for a swim around 3pm everyday. We'll go down to the beach then to look for him.' His words were final and impenetrable. He gave the family no more information than he thought was necessary.

Delilah thought to argue with him, saying they should start now, get ahead of the missing boy. But she didn't because what use would it be. She would be overruled and end up more frustrated than she already was. So she stayed silent, as she had been doing for some time now when the conversations turned to Felix. She had felt guilty about it at first, thinking she should be fighting for him, but he wasn;t fighting for her. He wasn't doing anything but hurting her. Delilah didn't like how cold she felt towards Felix now. It was strange, disconcerting. Maybe if he had just left her it would be different, she might have moved on quicker, forgotten about him easier. But the truth was he didn't just leave her, he left the two of them. He left his child. And it seemed like he did it so easily, so thoughtlessly. That was not the type of father Delilah wanted for her baby, a father like her own. And so if she hated him, as she hated her own, it would be easier to survive without him. That's what she told herself anyway. Ironic really, she was still half way across england searching for him.

The coastal house was exactly as Delilah had remembered it. She hadn't been in a couple of years now, summer was always good enough at Saltburn there was very little need for this place. But it had always been an escape place, somewhere to decompress and reconnect with life. When the Catton family dog had died they came down here and did the walk they always used to do with her. They always felt like a real family here. Not this time.

It was much smaller than Saltburn, a four bedroom, bleached brick, wooden roofed, cottage-like home that sat level with the sand dunes that perimitered the beach. Normally, Delilah and V shared the front bedroom that overlooked the sea. They had picked out matching single beds when they were 10 and decorated half of the room to each of their styles. It had remained the same ever since. But now Delilah was so pregnant, she really needed a double bed and, much to her discomfort, she was assigned Felix's room. Farleigh had offered to switch his with hers but Delilah declined, his room always smelled so strongly of weed and although she used to love that, now it just made her gag. So she wandered into Felix's room. It was neat and tidy, the bed freshly made, the big TV dusted down, mirrors freshly polished. Delilah saw Felix in all of it, in every detail, in every corner of the room she saw him. More than she saw in Saltburn, where everything was disconnected and hidden in shadows. Here the water reflected light into everything she had tried to keep hidden, everything she was too scared to face; everything about Felix.