The Angel in Hell

G O O D B Y E

Real Love Baby by Father John Misty<3

~ 

May, 2010

'Promise you'll call all the time. I'm dead fucking serious Delilah.' Venetia sobbed to her best friend at the departure gate, her boyfriend of 2 years Matt placing comforting kisses on the side of her head.

'I will, all the time, I swear.' Delilah sobbed back, bringing V into a deep hug as both their tears soaked the other person's back. 'And you promise you'll come and stay?'

'Of bloody course I will, we'll be out with you in Italy before you know it.'

They sobbed more now, desperately sad to be leaving one another. But, their crying was relieved when a small hand tugged at the hem of Venetias trousers. She scooped up the tiny human and kissed it on the cheek, 'Are you sooo excited Margot?' V cooed to her Niece, spinning her round and hugging her tightly.

Margot Venetia Catton was born a week late on the 7th of January, 2008. After a gruelling 12 hour labour, Delilah gave birth to a perfect baby girl and suddenly the 7th of January became the new best day of the year in Felix and Delilah's life.

From the moment Margot was born, everything dark in the world seemed a little lighter. Felix proposed to Delilah the very next day in the hospital. They got married in June, in the little chapel of Saltburn surrounded by their close friends and family. It wasn't big or expensive but it was everything to them.

When Margot turned 1, the newly-weds knew it was time to fully begin their lives together. Away from the life they had known before their baby's birth, away from all the money and the secrets. The two of them had been so lucky and privileged in many ways, but it was time to break the cycle of darkness that hid in the walls of Saltburn. For the sake of their daughter. So, they flew out to Italy and fell in love with a cottage overlooking the sea; and after just over a year of planning and renovating, it was finally the day they would leave for good.

It was a huge jump and Delilah was undeniably scared shitless for what the future held but as she watched Margot giggle uncontrollably in Vs arms and felt Felix's arms wrap around her waist, his lips connecting to the top of her head in a reassuring kiss, she knew it had to be done.

They said their final goodbyes to V and Matt at the gate, and boarded the plane hand in hand. Delilah watched as the tarmac of the airport became so small it looked like one of Margot's toys. A part of her would always remain at Saltburn, in the maze, in the fairy light on the balcony of her bedroom, in the dust of the red sofa in the TV room. It was where she grew up, grew into herself. It was the house of her best friend, the house of people who showed her what it felt like to be in a family, the first place they took Margot after she was born. And it was in that house that Delilah fell in love with Felix.

Delilah turned her head and saw Felix gently rocking Magot to sleep in his arms, exhausted himself. But happy. They were happy. Even if the world was to collapse and implode then and there, Delilah had everything she had ever wanted right beside her. Because if she had Felix and Margot, she had the world. And what an amazing world it was.

Delilah finally understood what it meant to live life, instead of survive it. She finally knew that even when life doesn't seem like something worth sticking around for, when you are blindsided by pain and darkness, there is always a light. There is always a reason to stay. And she knew that Felix Catton was hers. Her light, her reason. Her Angel In Hell.