The Nightfall Chronicles

11:30 pm- Smart Girl

All my life, I have been the 'smart girl',

In the limelight of triumphs a gifted prodigy,

Atop the class; no room for a mistake,

Standing proud 'midst those envious gaze.

Yet on those sleepless nights,

When my books induce nausea,

I sigh, slumping down on my desk,

The fire of anxiety ablaze in my head.

When I was always meant to thrive, 

In this bleak state how did I arrive?

A steam of stress condenses in my eyes,

Will my efforts ever suffice ?

I gaze into mirrors in a dazed haze,

Mocking the façade that conceals my maze,

Unspoken words and silent exchange,

Secrets unknown to every face.

No one knows this 'golden mind' is rusting,

This gifted child is slowly dusting.

Poison ivy has covered my house of cards,

 Creeping into corners, leaving scars.

Too scared to give up too tired to try,

My feet ache from this never-ending race,

Shoulders sag under the weight of perfection,

My mind drowns in confinements of its own.

This poison of unrealistic expectations,

Cripples my mind and soul.

The castles I build, stone by stone,

Slowly crumble down on their own.

On these restless nights, I ponder alone,

Will they still want me if I stumble or fall?

Will they still praise me if I burn out?

Will they forget my laurels when my reign ends?

At the end of the day, who am I?

Who am I if not this 'smart girl'?

Who am I without this tag?

-RAJVI

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A/N - 

The phase of gifted to burnout is so real.
 When you are not used to being anything less than perfect the taste of failure feels extra bitter, when you fall down it seems impossible to return back to that position you were in, you end up feeling powerless, worthless, a failure especially when you thrive on academic validation. 

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