Coming Back Home

Chapter 40

"What??" Trevor asked with a look of disbelief on his face, "sorry, come on, come inside."

He ushered me in and we went and sat down on the couch. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and I tried to hold them back.

"Okay so what the hell?" He asked.

"I...I don't know," I started, still feeling like I was in a daze.

"I mean I do," I continued, "but it doesn't make sense. She said it was because of Kyle."

"But hasn't she been all about helping you deal with all of that shit?" Trevor asked.

"Exactly," I said with a shrug, "and I haven't even seen him in a few weeks, so I have no idea where this came from."

"Shit, I'm sorry," Trevor said as he wrapped me into a hug.

"I know you said you didn't want me to get in the middle of it," he continued, "but the offer still stands if you want me to try and talk to her."

"Thanks," I mumbled, "I feel like I just need to leave it alone for a while...I don't know, I just - yeah."

Trevor kept an arm around my shoulder and I leaned into him as we sat there in silence. There hadn't been many times that I was as glad to have Trevor here as I was right now.

"Hey Trevor," I said.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being the best, I owe you," I said to him.

He laughed quietly before responding, "you don't owe me anything."

"I think I do though, I'm not sure what shape I'd be in right now if you weren't here. And it's not like I'm not already bad enough as it is," I said.

"Okay you can owe me a dinner and drink, that's all I'm accepting," he said with a grin, "and I think you have a pretty good reason to be in the shape you are."

"Fine," I conceded.

"If you don't want to talk about this, then you can just ignore me," Trevor started, "but do you think there's something that happened to make Natalie decide to break things off all of a sudden?"

He wasn't the only one asking this question.

"I mean, I saw how she was with you when you were dealing with Kyle...it just doesn't make a lot of sense," he continued.

"Exactly," I said with a heavy sigh, "I really can't think of anything. I guess she just finally decided she was done with it. Unless..."

"Unless what?" Trevor asked.

"I don't know, unless that was all an act and she was fed up with it the whole time and just couldn't fake it anymore," I said.

"I don't think so Madison," Trevor said as he shook his head, "I obviously can't say for sure, but I saw Natalie with my brother a lot, and I saw her with you...I don't think that was fake."

I shrugged and looked over at Trevor. I really wanted to believe him, but I just wasn't sure if I could. None of this was making sense right now.

"The only thing I can possibly think of," I started, "is that Kyle went to the coffee shop she was at a couple of weeks ago and confronted her."

"Oh, right," Trevor said quietly.

"Wait did you know about that?" I asked him as I sat up.

"Yeah, but Natalie only told me because she wanted my opinion on if she should tell you, and I said she probably needed to and she agreed," he responded.

"I guess that makes sense..." I said, "well she told me she was fine after that but - but maybe she wasn't."

"Could be," Trevor agreed.

"Shit I just don't know what to do now, work is going to be hell," I said.

"Come on, you've got this," Trevor said as he gave my leg a squeeze.

At least one of us was confident in that.

***

Work was in fact, hell.

If I had to choose between bitchy Natalie from when I first moved back and this, I'd choose bitchy Natalie in a heartbeat.

It was quite possibly the most uncomfortable and depressed that I'd ever felt, all rolled into one.

It was nearly impossible to avoid Natalie throughout the day, and any time we ran into each other seemed like it was more awkward than the last.

We kept on happening to get on the elevator at the same time, and the silence was always deafening. There were so many times that I wanted to say something to her, but I never knew where to start.

On top of all of this, I still felt like I was constantly looking over my shoulder for Kyle to show up out of nowhere. I was an anxious mess.

About a week after Natalie had officially broken up with me, I was walking around the office in my usual daze when Ella pulled me into her office.

"Okay listen," she said, "I've tried not to get in the middle of whatever it is that's going on between you and Natalie, but I can't do it any more. You both look miserable, you've got to do something."

I sighed and sat down across from Ella at her desk.

"I am miserable," I said, "but I don't think there's anything that I can do."

"There has to be something..." Ella said as she crossed her arms, "it's not like it's just you that looks miserable you know, she does too."

"Well it was her decision Ella, so I don't know what else to do. I know it's making it awkward for everyone around here, I feel bad," I responded.

"No, don't feel bad, you've got enough other shit to worry about," she said, "we can all handle a little awkwardness, it's not a big deal."

Ella gave me a reassuring grin and reached over to put her hand on my arm.

"You do what you need to do," she continued, "but it sucks seeing you...and her, like this."

"Honestly," I said hesitantly, "I've thought about looking for another job, part of me just wants to leave. I'm really tired of putting myself through this every day."

Before Ella could respond, a loud noise right outside of her door made us both jump. I turned around in my chair to find Natalie picking up a box that she had dropped.

Shit, I was hoping she hadn't just heard Ella and I's whole conversation.

"Sorry I - " she hesitated as her gaze met mine, "I was just bringing this paper over to the uh, the printer."

She clumsily grabbed the box as she nodded towards the printer across the office.

"No worries," Ella said to her with a smile.

As soon as Natalie hurried away, Ella's smile faded and she gave me a stern look.

"What?" I asked her as I pushed back my chair and stood up.

Ella held out her hand and motioned towards the spot where Natalie had just been as she raised her eyebrows.

I shook my head and walked towards the door of her office.

"I don't think so Ella."

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