It's 5:30 in the afternoon, and I'm headed to 'The Coffee Corner' to meet Cleo. I've finally decided to stop avoiding her, feeling guilty about it. We'll be working together again soon, so I can't keep avoiding her forever.
Every year, the School of Natural Sciences organizes an event where each assigned course creates a booth related to their field. These booths are showcased in the main hall of the university and are open to all students. This week, it's the radtech's turn, and their booth is inspired by different medical equipment such as CT and MRI scans.
Next week is reserved for the MedTechs, and then it's our turn. We have a week and a half for preparation, and Cleo will be leading the effort since she's the artistic one. I'll be assisting her with the paperwork and other tasks.
May gusto rin akong sabihin kay Cleo tungkol sa kanyang mga kaibigan na mga marites. Sila lamang ang may alam sa nangyari sa bar, at naririnig ko ang ilang mga kaklase at batchmates namin na nag-uusap na tila tomboy raw ako o kaya mag-jowa kami ni Cleo. Sinubukan ko nang sabihin ang totoo sa iba pero mas gusto kong manggaling ito mismo kay Cleo para mas paniwalaan nila.
I usually don't care about being the talk of rumors, but it bothers me that they're calling me something I'm not. If I really am gay, as they claim (THEY and not me because I am not gay. IF lang naman), then they are outing me without my consent which is wrong.
"Isla!" Lumingon ako sa bandang gilid ng cafe kung saan nakaupo na si Cleo at may dalawang drinks na sa mesa.
"I already ordered for you," sabi niya nang makalapit ako. Umupo agad ako sa tabi niya at nagpasalamat. Hindi ko alam kung paano magsisimula at wala rin akong naihandang sasabihin, kaya uminom na lang ako at hinihintay na siya muna ang magsalita.
"Isla, I'm glad pumayag ka na makipagusap sa akin. Kung ano man ang nangyari sa bar, gusto kong malaman mo na I am really sorry. It's still a blur, but my friends told me we were kissing, and if I happened to force myself on you—"
"You didn't," I cut her off. I never knew this was what she thought, and I feel worse because I should have agreed to talk sooner.
"So, it was mutual?" Kanina halos nanlulumo na ang itsura ni Cleo, ngayon naman parang biglang naging masaya siya.
"No—I mean, we were both intoxicated, so you kissed me, and I kissed back, that's it. No deeper meaning, Cleo," sabi ko, at bumalik naman ulit ang malungkot na ekspresyon sa kanyang mukha. I should stop going to bars and getting drunk to avoid making mistakes.
"Oh, so you're telling me you have no feelings for me?" Dahan-dahan akong tumango dahil kinakabahan ako sa magiging reaksyon niya.
"It's not like you also have for me," I replied, laughing awkwardly.
"I have feelings for you, Isla. Why did you think I kissed you in the first place?" Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. Did she just say she likes me? Kinuha ko ang inumin na nasa harapan ko at tinungga iyon. Wala akong masabi at ayokong napupunta sa mga ganitong sitwasyon.
"I like you, and I have felt this since freshmen year." Buti na lang nalunok ko na 'yung inumin, kundi mabibilaukan ako dahil sa sinabi ni Cleo. Tama nga si Thea na manhid ako. But, I have only known Cleo this year, so how is it possible?
"We were classmates back then, and it started with a crush until it became deeper. That's why I joined the Apothecary Society to get closer to you and hopefully become your friend."
"Oh, I thought you joined to improve the well-being of pharmacy students," I said, trying to mimic her platform from last year. I don't know what to feel knowing she joined the organization just for me. Should I be flattered? Or creeped out? But, I think it's normal to do that when you like someone. So, I can't blame Cleo.
"I didn't know you're into girls." Kung ano-ano na lang ang sinasabi ko para pagaanin ang vibes, pero mukhang hindi gumagana at seryoso lang nakatingin sa akin si Cleo.
"Cleo, I honestly don't know what to say," I let out a sigh. I'm not a fan of this kind of situation.
"I understand. You don't have to like me back agad. I can wait if you let me court you?" Ano raw? Manliligaw siya?
"I don't think I want to be courted. I'm still healing from my past relationship, and I'm not ready for a new one. I don't want you to wait, Cleo, because I can't promise anything, especially since I'm not even gay."
"I can see you're still denying it." Hindi ko alam, pero nakaramdam ako ng inis sa sinabi ni Cleo. I am so tired of hearing people saying that and labeling me shit.
"Listen here, Cleo. Let's go back to being president and vice president and forget this ever happened. I'm sorry, but I can't reciprocate your feelings, and I don't want it. And please do tell others that we're just org mates or batchmates and nothing more. Also, ask your friends to focus on their own business and refrain from making assumptions about me. That's it. Have a good day."
Hindi ko na siya hinaayaang magsalita, at tumayo na ako at lumabas ng cafe. I know Cleo's intention is good at wala siyang kasalanan, but I'm tired, and I just snapped.
For days now, Miss Harriet has stayed the same as the strict and cold professor. I've been keeping my distance also, but she's always on my mind. Every day, I walk by her office just hoping she would show up and annoy me, just like she used to.
"She looks familiar," Thea said, pointing at the poster on the bulletin board. Hinintay nila matapos 'yung meet up ko with Cleo dahil sasabay raw sila sa akin pauwi.
"Malamang! Yan ang president ng school, tanga," sagot ni Hailee sa kanya.
"She's the university president?!" Ay tanga nga. Tatlong taon na siya dito, tapos hindi niya kilala ang president ng school?
"Seriously, Thea?"
"Sorry, focus ako masyado sa studies eh." We all know that's a lie.
"I can see Professor De Veres in her."
"Baka kasi mag-nanay sila?" Hindi talaga nila kayang mag-usap ng matino.
"Tanda ko na! I saw her days ago exiting Professor De Veres' office. Grabe, she looks so scary in person, talagang strong independent woman vibes." Miss President came by her office?
"Kailan mo siya nakita?" Tanong ko.
"Before first period, that day when you all came back after your party tapos we all met pa nga sa cafeteria tapos pumunta kayo ni Zeke sa clinic tapos—"
"Oo na gets na namin. Anong ginagawa mo sa department namin sa umaga?" Si Hailee naman ang nagtanong kay Thea.
"B-baka kasi nag-share rin tayo ng building?" Halatang hindi siya nagsasabi ng totoo, pero naniwala naman si Hailee sa kanya. All courses under the School of Natural Sciences share buildings, classrooms, and even laboratories, but I have a feeling Thea has another reason why she was there.
But, that's not my problem anymore. If the president visited her office that day, it explains why Miss Harriet's mood was off. She hasn't shared much about her parents but I sense that she doesn't have a close relationship with her mom, and it could be because she'll be taking her mom's position soon, and she doesn't even want that kind of responsibility.
"Isla, saan ka pupunta?"
I ignored them because I, myself, don't even know where I am going. All I'm sure about is that I want to see her. I want to see Miss Harriet right now.
BINABASA MO ANG
Academic Temptations
Romance"I thought I had it all figured out-a perfect life with a planned future. Then you came along, adding colors to my black-and-white existence. Now, I'm ready to take chances, and embrace the unknown because being with you is a perfection I never knew...
