"Alam niyo ba yung bidang guy who is Ashton Kutcher? His wife also has a movie like this titled Friends With Benefits." Althea shared that we just finished watching 'No Strings Attached'. We're currently having a sleepover because I invited them to watch the movie. I need their advice, but I want it to be subtle so I won't be too obvious.
"Papanuorin din ba natin yun?" Hailee asked.
"No, I can't watch another movie." Sagot ko dahil tinatamad na ako. The movie we watched almost relates to my situation, although mine is worse and somewhat taboo.
"Ang ganda ni Natalie Portman." Comment ni Althea dahil busy na siya mag stalk ng cast.
"Oo nga, diba siya yung partner ni Thor?"
"Yep, and she's also in Black Swan where she made out with Mila Kunis, Ashton Kutcher's wife. Amazing, right?"
"Oh, so she made out with the married couple?" Silang dalawa lang ang nag uusap kasi nag-iisip pa ako paano ako mag-tatanong sakanila.
"What do you guys think about the movie?" I asked, magkakatabi kami ngayon sa bed ko at ako ang na sa gitna. This is always our set up when we have sleepovers kasi matatakutin ako kaya ako lagi ang gitna.
"Ay may pa-essay? submit na rin ba kami reaction paper?" Pabirong sabi ni Althea na sinamaan ko ng tingin.
"I just want your opinion like are you open to that kind of relationship?"
"No strings-attached relationship?" I nodded in response.
"It's like having a fuck buddy, right?" I nodded again, but slowly, because I don't really want to acknowledge it as a 'fuck buddy' situation, but it's the truth.
"If kasing gwapo ni Ashton, why not?" Wala ata ako makukuhang matinong sagot kay Althea.
"In my opinion, I don't see anything wrong with it. Although here in the Philippines, it's not really talked about, and you'll be judged if they find out you're in that kind of relationship. You know how people value their 'virginity' here; it's considered something sacred." Hailee's right. People will judge me if I ever involve myself in that situation, especially if they know who I'm doing it with.
"But, I don't care about what other people say. I think if someone offers, and he's hot and I like him, I'll take it basta we practice safe sex. Ayoko pa mabuntis or kaya magka-infection," dagdag ni Hailee.
"You'll engage in that kind of set-up?" Althea asked, pati siya ay naintriga na rin.
"I flirt around, so it's like the same thing. I don't want to settle rin naman. The only difference is I'm with different guys, unlike in the movie with just one guy lang."
"You sleep with your guys?!" Pati ako nagulat sa sinabi ni Hailee.
"Thea, I don't sleep with them. I just said I flirt around, but I'm open to the possibility of engaging in a fubu relationship." Fubu? Ugh. It sounds so whore-ish, and I don't want to be like that.
"What about you, Thea?" Ako na ang nagtanong dahil okay na ako sa sagot ng pinsan ko.
"I am not against premarital sex, but I don't think I can engage in that setup. I'm more of a hopeless romantic girl. I want to have sex with someone I love kahit wala pang dumadating. I don't know what's taking him so long. Tag-tuyot na ako." As far as I know, Althea has never been into a serious relationship or has been in love.
"You made it sound like nadiligan ka na noon." Hailee's staring intently at Thea. She even sounds mad. What's her deal?
"That is none of your business, Sy." Thea said and playfully stuck her tongue out at Hailee.
"So, both of you have different opinions," I said, just trying to divert their attention at baka magtalo nanaman yung dalawa.
"What's yours, Is?" At nasa akin na nga ang atensyon.
"I-I have the same opinion as Hailee. I am open to anything as long as it's safe and consensual." Both of them probably didn't expect my answer, but I can't say I'm opposed to it because that would make me a hypocrite.
"Do you think it's possible to feel a sexual attraction to someone without having romantic feelings?" I asked another question at mukha naman sila napaisip.
"I think, yeah, some people really have strong sex appeal. But, I don't know; it sounds weird kasi it's like you're just sexualizing the person."Hailee always says the right thing.
"I agree with your cousin this time, but if it's mutual like you're both sexually attracted to each other, like in the movie we watched, I think that's okay." I suddenly remembered what Professor De Veres told me in the bathroom.
'I know you want me as much as I want you.'
Does that make it mutual? But do I feel that way about her? She is my professor, and I should not feel this way or sexualize her. But we did it before finding out she's my professor, so it's not that wrong. But if I agree now, then it would be wrong since I already know who she is. Fuck, this is confusing. Why am I even considering her stupid offer?
"Narealize ko lang sa ganda nating ito? single pa rin tayo." Pareho naman kaming natawa sa sinabi ni Thea. Honestly, I'm happy being single now and ayoko munang mag commit sa relationship.
"Tapos na ako dapat kayo naman." Sabi ko sakanila. I can't wait for them to be in a serious relationship.
"Nah, I'm good." Hailee said, naalala ko nanaman yung sinabi niya sa bar. She said she had been in love but I have no idea kung kanino and kung kailan.
"I thought I'd end up being with Zeke but turns out he likes Isla. I'm just glad my feelings were nothing deep." Gulat akong napatingin kay Althea. Zeke likes me?!
"You don't know? Ang manhid naman ng pinsan mo Hailee." Tawa-tawa niyang sabi.
"He likes you noon pa, but Xavier came first, and I guess he chose friendship more, kaya it was easier to move on from him because I also chose friendship, kaya no hard feelings, Isla. Don't feel bad." Thea tapped my shoulder. I really like her personality because I think if it's something else, awkward na sana kami ngayon.
"Yeah, friendship," I heard Hailee mumble. She's looking at Althea with a sad expression.
It's almost 12 am so they decided to sleep. Mabilis agad nakatulog ang dalawa halos hindi na nga ako makagalaw dahil grabe ang yakap nila sakin. Ilang beses ko tinanggal pero bumabalik pa rin ang braso at binti nila sakin.
Nakatitig lang ako sa kisame hinihintay dapuan ng antok. Ganito talaga ako pag may bumabagabag sakin hindi ako makatulog. Tumunog naman bigla ang phone ko kaya kinuha ko ito.
Harriet DV:
Hey.
It's just a three letter word pero napabilis nito ang tibok ng puso ko.
You still up?
Isla Margaux:
Nope.
Harriet DV:
Ha ha. Just want
to invite you for
coffee before
class. So?
Isla Margaux:
Why?
Harriet DV:
I want to see you.
Isla Margaux:
Okay?
Harriet DV:
Is that yes?
Isla Margaux:
Can't say no to
free coffee.
Harriet DV:
I'll wait for you
at your favorite cafe.
Goodnight, Isla.
Hindi na ako nag reply at inilagay ko na ang phone ko sa nightstand. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face.
BINABASA MO ANG
Academic Temptations
Romance"I thought I had it all figured out-a perfect life with a planned future. Then you came along, adding colors to my black-and-white existence. Now, I'm ready to take chances, and embrace the unknown because being with you is a perfection I never knew...
