Tapos na ang klase ko para sa linggong ito dahil Sabado na bukas at walang pasok pero bago ako umuwi, naisipan kong daanan si Miss Harriet sa kanyang opisina. Kahapon kasi, hindi ko siya naabutan kaya hindi ko siya nakausap.
I brought iced coffee and food with me as a peace offering to her. I know we didn't have a fight, but I felt like giving these to her. I knocked twice before opening her office door, and there she was, sitting on her office chair with both her hands massaging her temples. She looked stressed, and there were piles of papers on her desk.
"What is it now, Ledezma?" she asked without even looking up. Paano niya nalaman na ako 'yung pumasok? Dahan-dahan akong naglakad papunta sa desk niya at pinatong ang mga dala ko.
"I-I brought you food and coffee." I stuttered. NAkakaintimidate naman kasi talaga ang malamig niyang tono lalo na't hinid pa irn ako sanay.
"Thanks." She muttered, still not looking up, and continued with her paperwork. I just stood there awkwardly not knowing what to say next. I heard her sigh and she dropped the paper she was holding and finally looked up meeting my gaze. Her eyes are not cold this time but they're tired seems like she's not getting enough sleep.
"What else do you want?" Her voice carried the weight of exhaustion. I felt guilty for bothering her at this time, but I had no choice. Hindi ako mapapakali kung hindi ko siya makausap.
"Do you need help with anything? Like checking papers or something."
"No thank you. I already have a student assistant for that." So, she already hired her own student assistant? Dapat una pa lang ginawa niya na para hindi niya na ako ginulo pa.
"Oh."
"Leave now, Ledezma," she sternly said, but I held my ground.
"Miss Harrie—"
"It's Professor De Veres." I looked at her in disbelief. Now, she wants me to address her as Professor De Veres when she had just insisted that I call her 'Harriet' before. I'm starting to get annoyed with how she's acting right now.
"Professor De Veres, I want us to talk."
"Can't you see that I'm busy?" She said, gesturing to the pile of papers stacked up on her desk.
"Just five minutes. Take a break from all that while we talk."
"How about you talk, and I listen while I work?" Tumango na lang ako sa sinabi niya. I'll take what she can give. Tinuon naman niya ulit ang atensyon niya sa papel na hawak niya.
"Are you okay?" She glanced at me, probably checking if I'm being serious.
"Why are you asking me that?"
"I just want to know. I heard your mom came—"
"Stop. Don't think of crossing the line. Remember, you are just my student, so act like it. I don't see how my family affairs are any of your business." What she said hurts. I was only worried about her, and this is what I get.
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to know how you're doing. I know this is not what you want—"
"Do you know what I want? I want you out, Ledezma. I thought you were smart, but what part of 'mind your own business' don't you understand? Forget what I shared about my personal life, and don't bring it up again." I could feel my eyes getting warm, and tears were welling up.
Shit naman! I can't cry in front of her. I quickly wiped my eyes before the tears spilled onto my face. Buti na lang hindi siya nakatingin sa akin ngayon.
"Is this what you do with all the women you've slept with? Pagkatapos mo akong guluhin biglang hindi mo na ako papansinin. Bakit? dahil ba hindi mo nakuha ang gusto mo?" I know I am way out of line, pero hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko dahil galit ako sa kanya. I was living a peaceful life, and she came and messed with that. Now, she suddenly wants nothing to do with me?
"That's it. You've crossed the line. Leave, or I will report you to the department head." She's mad too. She's glaring at me, clearly displeased.
"Then do it. Gusto mo bang samahan pa kita?"
"Don't you dare disrespect me, Ledezma." Huminga ako nang malalim para pakalmahin ang sarili ko. She's still my professor after all.
"No, I want to talk. Gusto kong malaman kung ano ang nagawa kong mali at bakit naging ganyan ka bigla. I need an explanation, Professor. I think you owe me that one at least. We were just friends last week, and suddenly I am just your student?" My voice cracked, and I saw her expression softened. Confrontations make me cry. I'm too weak for this, but I can't back out now.
"I am now doing what I should have done from the beginning when we met on our first day. I'm truly sorry, Isla. You were right. My actions were inappropriate. I should've acted like a professor around you, but instead, I followed these foolish desires and got you into this mess." So, all of it was for her 'stupid desires'? I can't believe I am hearing this nonsense from her. I should've known better. What do I expect from someone who has slept with a lot of women?
"Isn't this what you wanted in the first place? For us to forget about what happened between us because it was a mistake. So, please, let's do that. You get to live your boring, normal student life again, and I will not bother you anymore. I will stay as your professor." Tama naman siya. Ito naman talaga ang gusto kong mangyari una pa lang, pero bakit parang ang sakit ata. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sunod-sunod na pagtulo ng luha ko, kaya tumalikod na ako.
"I am just a victim of this foolish game of yours, Next time you're up for another game, pick someone who isn't your student," I expressed before storming out of her office. I walked fast, unsure of where to go. I removed my glasses and wiped away the tears that continued to fall.
My vision is so blurry that I end up colliding with someone, and I find myself seated on the ground. Could this day possibly get any worse?
"Shit, sorry." I immediately recognized that voice, making me cry even harder.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry. Please, don't cry— Isla?" She knelt in front of me and hugged me. I sobbed harder and buried my face in the crook of her neck. Being comforted only seemed to make me cry even harder.
"Shh tahan na. What happened?"
"M-my heart hurts like hell," I said, my hand clutching my chest.
"Who hurt you? Bakit ka umiiyak?" Thea broke from the hug, holding my face with both her hands and wiping my tears.
"I-it's just my mens," I lied, but she knows how I get emotional for no reason when I have mens, so it's the only reasonable excuse I could think of.
She nodded and helped me stand up.
"Let's get you home, Is." She said, still holding me by my waist as we walked.
Gulong-gulo na ako sa sarili ko ngayon. Ano bang nangyayari sa akin at bakit ako nagkakaganito? Nakuha ko naman na ang gusto ko, pero bakit hindi ako masaya? Pakiramdam ko ay parang may sumaksak sa dibdib ko dahil kanina pa ito kumikirot.
I'll have my peace again, but why do I crave the chaos the professor brings?
BINABASA MO ANG
Academic Temptations
Romance"I thought I had it all figured out-a perfect life with a planned future. Then you came along, adding colors to my black-and-white existence. Now, I'm ready to take chances, and embrace the unknown because being with you is a perfection I never knew...
