Nothing Even Matters

Chapter 12: I'm So Sorry

*Natasha's POV*

It's been a week since I last spoke to Nikki. Seven long, agonizing days. I'm freaking out. That Nikita is so beautiful, I can't think. She's all I can think about. She made it very clear however, that she didn't need me. She hasn't been showing up to my third block classes. I guess I can't really blame her for it. I probably would have done the same thing if I were in her shoes. I was pretty harsh with her. It was the drugs that were talking, not her. Still those words cut me deep like knives and I was so angry. But once a week, she has been showing up for my Honors Geometry class, however, high every time, might I add. To my surprise, no one even noticed. I don't even see how. Her eyes were always tinted tomato red and seemingly opened. She wasn't causing any trouble, so I kept my mouth shut and moved on. I couldn't exactly assume that she was using drugs, even though deep down, I knew she was. I didn't want to make matters worse. I still worried sick about her, however.

I watched as her head lay down on her desk. She was a completely different person for these last few days. Growing more and more quiet and distant. I always knew she was like this, but never around me. My mind thought back we had almost kissed when we were cleaning my classroom a little bit. And to think that that was only about two weeks ago. I wish I could go back to that place, in that exact time. I know it was wrong to even think about wanting to actually kiss her, let alone actually doing it. But with Nikita Smith, it seemed that I was in an insufferable state at that point.

The bell rung a few moments later and my eyes jumped back to Nikki, when she jolted from her position. The look on her face screamed sleep. She quickly grabbed her bag and walked up to my desk, handing me her test, not even wanting me to see the pain that was in her eyes. I skimmed through the papers, not finding even one thing written. Not even her name was filled out.

"Uh, Ms. Smith?"

She turned to me, but didn't say anything. She lifted both eyebrows, quietly gesturing me to say what I had to say.

"Why don't you have anything filled out?" I questioned, while once again, skimming through the empty pages.

"I don't know." She rolled her eyes. "It's my test." She spoke, as she took the papers from me and showed me.

Sighing, I leaned forward in my chair, putting my hand to my forehead. Oh God, please help this girl, I thought to myself. After a few moments, I leaned back, crossing my arms.

"Why?"

She shrugged her shoulders, giving me a side smile as she leaned in against the door.

"I gotta go to lunch. I'm starving!"

And with that, she walked away, not once looking back.

[....]

My lunch hour came to a sudden close, when the bell had rung for 3rd block C lunch. I began to pack up my tests that I would be grading later at home. I was really tired and I didn't feel like teaching the new lesson today and I knew that Nikki was probably not going to show up anytime soon, so why bother with a warm up? I sat back in my chair, silently talking to myself and daydreaming about Nikki. I was unable to get that gorgeous girl out of my mind ever since we first met last year. Most of my students came in late from lunch, doing God knows what, and I suddenly felt sick inside. I almost wanted to run down to Culinary Express and ask Mrs. Adams to cover my class the rest of the day so I can go home and forget about everything. Wait, you know what? That's what I'm gonna do. I got up from my chair and walked towards the door, about to ask a nearby teacher to cover my class until I got back, when suddenly, a skeptical, yet amused Nikita appeared in the doorway. My mouth fell open. She was actually here. I checked my watch. Eight minutes late, but still here.