Mary Sue - Coming Home

Chapter 1 - The Moving Van on Elm

"So, there's a moving van over there on Elm," Reina said around a mouthful of pizza.

"For goodness sakes, dear, chew with your mouth closed," demanded Amelia.

Liara immediately began making loud slurping noises as she drank her pepsi, swishing it around and making lip smacking noises.

"Not you, too." opined Amelia. "You're going to corrupt Destiny."

Destiny looked up at the mention of his name, cheese stretched from his mouth to the pizza at least a foot away from his face. Liara responded, "Mouth's closed, sweets. That's not the source of the noise. You're not misophonic, you're just trying to be perfect, and force us into your limited definitions."

Amelia reddened. "This band could use some classing up. And it's not too much to ask that you chew with your mouth closed, is it?"

Reina looked to Liara for back up. She couldn't think of any real reason why not.

"It's inefficient." Liara said after a short chewing pause.

Reina grinned. "Yeah. Efficiency is very important," draining her cup of root beer and slamming it down on the table. It knocked a pizza off the table and into Destiny's lap. He carefully rose, getting most of the pizza back in the box.

"Well, that disrupts that theory," said Liara archly as Amelia grinned. "Perhaps Ms. Grundy has a point. We could use a little 'class'."

Reina, properly chastened, gently picked up her Dr. Pepper, and drank from it carefully, raising her pinky in salute, it seemed to Amelia. Amelia nodded her thanks.

Destiny smiled. "What were you saying about Elm Street?"

Liara grinned. "Something about a nightmare?"

Reina looked confused, "Huh? No, someone is moving in."

Liara shook her head, muttering about not being appreciated in her time. Amelia looked sympathetic. "Another reference?" Liara nodded and returned to her tablet, as she often did when people couldn't follow her rather specific trains of thought. Only the soothing statistics displayed upon it could soothe her angst at never being understood.

Destiny looked hopeful. "Anyone interesting?"

"Just saw the van," Reina said. "All the stuff being unloaded looked weirdly normal."

Liara looked up from her tablet. "How can something be weirdly normal?"

Amelia smiled indulgently, "The tragedy of your vocabulary. Could you be more specific, Reina, dear."

Reina smiled back, but hers contained a bit of malice. "Meant what I said. Weirdly normal. Everything generic. Like the furniture was from IKEA, and so were all the personal effects."

"Maybe they're Swedish," wondered Destiny aloud. "A huge family of tall blonde people."

"With at least one girl between 14 and 17, for Destiny to moon after." said Amelia in a dreamy voice, only half kidding.

Reina's grin returned to the one she used for friends. "Well... preferably two."

Destiny and Reina's faces were warmed by a shared daydream, as Liara set down her tablet and she and Amelia exchanged a look.

"Is there a single shred of evidence that these people are a family of Swedish migrants, fresh to our shores from Malmo, Helsingborg, Gothenberg, or Stockholm?"

The two looked crestfallen, their dreams of Swedish hotties crashed on the rocks of reality. The sat in silence for a few moments until Liara countered, "Is there any evidence that this family is not a family of Swedish migrants from Elmo, Hellsinger, Gothenmerg or Stockholm?"

Reina and Destiny cheered, leading to Liara's dad leaning around the corner and looking in on them. He looked tired, today. "Everything ok in here, kids?"

Liara smiled, a genuine smile, different from the sardonic one that generally lit her face. "Yes, paternal unit. You appear to be low on charge. Are you absorbing enough nutrients and spending enough time compiling in standby mode?"

He stepped into the room and pulled her into a hug. "You're such a nerd. I'm eating enough, but sleep is a hard commodity to secure. Your mom is working with Korea on the animation side, and I have to be ready for negotiations and qualifications on this side, so personal care is not high on the priorities." He turned to the others. "She doesn't get the nerdiness from me. It's all her mother."

"Says the guy with the Battlestar Galactica tattoo." He shrugged at her. "And your personal care is a priority to me, and to mom if she knew. You've got to take care of yourself, dad. This isn't Japan and you aren't a sarariman."

"Cylons are the bomb... and you're right. I'll try to make myself a priority. You guys digging the pizza?"

All the kids nodded appreciatively. He yawned. "Okay. Don't burn the place down. I'm going to go fall down. If I hibernate past when you need to go, let me know. I'll have my cell on." He stumbled wearily from the room.

When he was safely gone, Reina raised a hand, in that weird way she often did when Liara or Amelia said something she didn't understand. They tried for years to break her of the habit, but it did help her not blurt out inappropriate questions. "Salami-man?" she asked.

Amelia spoke before Liara could, "It's a japanese word for someone who works ridiculous hours for a salary. In Japan, devotion to one's job is considered such a virtue that falling asleep at work from exhaustion is considered a positive behavior."

Liara had nothing to add, so she nodded. "My grandpa was one, and he died pretty young from all the stress. But he left us enough for all this," she gestured around the small environs festooned with wires and electronics. "The Reynolds family fortune, and I, its adventuring scion." She gestured at the Band, "And you, my faithful servants, because of your inferior races and intellects, must obey my commands, walk before me to detect traps, and be victims of my feminine wiles." She wriggled her eyebrows in such a suggestive way, and in a way that was so unlike her, that before long, all four were rolling on the ground laughing.