Mary Sue - Coming Home

Reina Intro

I have a lot of enemies. It's kinda hilarious, because I haven't ever really done anything to anyone except be better than them. I never go out of my way to be mean, or hurt anyone. Quite the opposite, really. I try to avoid hurting other people, and I've been hurt more times than I can count. My abuela says en corazon en tu manga. It means that my heart is on my sleeve. I can't help it. When I'm mad, it's obvious. When I'm hurt, it's obvious. The only feeling that I can hide is scared. No one sees when I'm scared.

I pretend that I don't get scared. I do. I'm human, despite my athletic prowess. I'm a fantastic athlete. Possibly an olympic or at least pro athlete. I'm not super great on a team, but I'm a superstar. Most of the team sports that I play on just give me the ball and let me run. I'm fantastic. That might sound like bragging, but I really am amazing.

Unfortunately, no one cares about female athletes. So, I competed in a few boys sports. Not enough to make a stir. I pretended to be a boy for a few local contests when I was younger. It's not hard before boobs. I have them now, some, but not enough to where I can't pretend. Every now and then, at state fairs and local events, I'll just be some nameless boy who beats down all the locals.

My family works in construction, so we travel a lot. I travel to all kinds of places with my uncle and my dad and my cousins. I used to steal their names to be able to compete.

There's this stupid rumor that I am secretly a boy, or intersex. Sometimes I wish that I was. Not because I want the package, or because it would make me more interesting. I feel like there are too many people who fetishize all of that. No, it just feels like I would make more sense as an intersex person than as a boyish lesbian who competes with boys in sports. I feel like I would make more sense as one thing than as a collection of other things.

I can't always control my emotions. I just can't. And I like sex... with girls, at least. It seems so simple in private, but public is always just the worst. I'm tired of feeling ashamed or like I am something to be ashamed of. None of the girls I've fooled around with ever want to be public. I'm sure that some of it is based on the whole small town thing, and some more is that I don't have the best reputation. My family is doing pretty well. We're practically rich by comparison to most of the town, but we're looked down on for lots of reasons. We are Hispanic, for one. Even in a place with a decent Hispanic population, there's still some stigma there. We get kinda clannish because of it, and that doesn't help. The being able to slip to another language is nice, except when it's not. It causes some xenophobic reactions. Destiny taught me that word. It means being afraid of what's different. I inspire xenophobia in lots of people. Xeno means strange and phobia means afraid. I guess I am strange, though I don't really have anything to compare to. And people more hate strange things than they're afraid of them.

A lot of people think I'm stupid because I don't communicate well. I'd like to say that it's because I speak two languages, but Liara speaks three.... (four if you count Klingon, which everyone awesome does), so it's not that. Spanish is more pretty than English, and a lot of things make more sense in it, but it's not just language. I'm not good at communicating in the school way. And yeah, maybe all my best friends are smarter than me. But they're smarter than most people. And maybe my grades aren't great, but they're okay. They're better than they used to be. And maybe it takes me longer to learn stuff, but I'm amazing at sports, and that is something. Liara was explaining the theory of multiple intelligences stuff to me the other day, and I got to say it's pretty tempting to think that maybe I'm just smart a different way, you know?