Mary Sue - Coming Home

Chapter 8 - Mary Sue

Destiny and Reina met the others on the way back from the football game. As they trudged out to the OATS (Old Abandoned Train Station), Destiny and Liara hung back while Amelia and Reina walked ahead.

"Did you get anything useful?" Destin asked. He didn't really understand Liara's work with AI, but it was really important to her, and he could at least try to understand it.

She shook her head. "The situation was too abnormal to qualify as a baseline," she said flatly.

Destiny nodded as if he understood. "Lots of people, loud spaces, etc, I guess. We met the new history teacher," he said, trying to contribute.

"It wasn't the situation, Destiny. I planned for that. It was Melon. She is an unexpected variable and she's throwing off everything."

Destiny blinked uncomprehendingly. "Melon is ruining everything?" he said, briefly interrupting his trudging. Amelia and Reina were talking animatedly up ahead, but Liara stopped to look at him.

She stared at him critically, then gave one of her short perfunctory laughs. "Hah. Good one, Destiny." She began to walk forward again. He jogged to catch up.

"No. I'm actually confused," he said when he caught up. "How is Melon ruining everything?" They were about even with the others now.

"She caught a touchdown," said Amelia. "Didn't you hear?"

Destiny shook his head. "Am I having a stroke?"

"No," huffed Reina, "but I am. I'm not allowed to play football for years, because I'm a girl, and some girl trying out for the cheerleading squad catches a ball, and suddenly it's fine for girls to play football?"

"The referee said 'there's no rule against it,' and ruled that the cheerleading uniform was basically special teams or something," she gritted her teeth. "Can't believe the other team was okay with it."

"But there is a rule against it," Reina protested, kicking a rock. It bounced weirdly on the road and nearly hit Destiny in the eye.

Amelia laughed ruefully, "Several actually. They're colloquially called the Reina Rules."

Reina glared at her for a moment, and then shrugged. "Guess it's kinda cool there's rules named after me. But it's still bullshit that Melon, some girl with a dumb name from some other place, can come in and ignore the fight I've been having my whole life."

Destiny stopped walking. "Melon is the new girl."

Liara laughed her short laugh again, while Reina and Amelia looked at him curiously. "Melon is the new girl," he said again, more quietly.

Amelia put the back of her hand to his forehead. "Are you quite feeling all right, Destiny?" she asked, genuinely worried.

"I never knew her name," he said ruefully. "I was in..."

"You were hiding in the bathroom," Amelia said. "Apparently, Melon is short for Mary Ellen. And her last name is Llewellyn, which is a mouthful. Makes sense she'd choose something shorter."

"Her name is Cheaty McCheatface," muttered Reina.

"This is like a movie," Liara said. When everyone waited for her to elaborate, she shrugged. "It is, though. It would be funnier if her name was Mary Sue, though."

"Why would that be funnier?" asked Amelia, on the edge of annoyance.

"Because Mary Sue is a stupid name," said Reina, "But not as dumb as Melon."

Liara frowned. "We shouldn't make fun of someone's name," she said seriously.

"No, I get it," said Destiny. "Mary Sue, like the fanfiction thing. The author insert who claims to be nothing special, but gets everything, and everyone falls all over them, and they get to ignore the rules and win without trying. Mary Sue, right?"

Liara nodded. "That's a little oversimplified, but yeah. Originally used to denigrate girls taking agency by inserting themselves into fanfiction, but still a plot device often used by bad writers to justify bad writing."

The Band stood for a moment, lost in thought. Finally, Destiny broke the silence. "Mary Sue Ellen Llewellyn."

Reina gasped. "Wasn't Llewellyn the new history teacher's name?"