Yours Truly Ever And After

Confusing emotions & mixed feelings

Tom's POV ( Same day when they interacted in the garden)

I left the garden as soon as possible. I was feeling a tsunami of various emotions. I, Tom Marvolo Riddle, descendant of the Salazar Slytherin never was someone who got distracted but she is distracting me, affecting me way too much. I went inside my room and closed the door. I lay down on the bed and at that moment I was feeling confused because of my desire I wanted to kiss her, hold her close to me and I don't know why but I called her Amare ?
I felt angry at the same time when she was talking with Jacob. She never talks to me without bursting into anger and here she was polite with him.I came back to my senses and released an exasperated sigh. I need to get some more sleep. I mumbled it to myself and went to sleep.
After tossing and turning for those hours. I decided to give up. The breakfast must have already been served it's better to go and eat it after the shower.
I was standing under the cold shower. But the water did nothing to wash away her presence. Her eyes were still looking at me, her lips so close to mine were haunting me and her touching was still burning me. It is like someone branded her in my mind, soul, body and my heart something that I thought would have turned into a stone a long time ago I remembered the moment when I got to know about her name for the first time
Flashback begins
I was still staring at her door when I heard Reynolds Samuelson, his sister Amara Samuelson and his friend Jack Olivers talking to each other about her.
Jack Olivers asked both Samuelson "Hey does anyone of you know that new girl ?" The male Samuelson replied "No, I don't ". But female Samuelson replied "Yes, her name is Kenna Aurora Green. She came from America and she is going to attend the same school as Riddle".
After hearing her name I smiled a little and felt sad. She is someone who is going to remind me of her whom I lost. I wanted to go to the garden to talk to that snake but decided not to and went inside my room.
Flashback ends
I concluded my shower soon and went to eat breakfast.As soon as I entered the hall my eyes started to look for her and in the middle of a row I saw her. She was talking to the boy with whom she was talking on her first day. He is sitting on her lap and she had a tender look on her face.She is smiling, laughing and is happy.
She lifted her face and our eyes met only for a brief moment, but we ignored eachother. Pretending that nothing had happened, pretending that we didn't care, pretending that we didn't feel anything.
But we both know we are lying.
I left the hall and went back to my room and took out my sketch book. I just want to distract myself because it's not good for me, my dreams and my aims. I don't have the clear idea of what I want to draw but my hands on the hand are having different thoughts.
After more than 5 hours, I finished my sketch. I looked at it and felt a pang in my chest. It is something that I can't afford with the power I have. A content life with the woman I love in my arms. We both are sleeping holding each other and feeling warmth, belonging and happiness.

After looking at the sketch for a few minutes I realised I draw me and her. I have drawn us, as I wished we could have. As I wished we could have been, if things were different. If I wasn't so messed up. If she wasn't so perfect.
I held the sketch close to my heart and soon a lone tear escaped from my eyes which was hidden. This sketch is my safe heaven, where I don't have to act like I don't care, I am supreme, I am powerful. Where I am also a normal person who calls someone his and his only. I wish that this sketch could become my future, only if I could find her and she accepted to live with me. I will not care if the whole world goes into hell, point finger at me and says I am hypocrite and whatnot. I will give up on everything and then will live with her. But now I am starting to lose my hope.
After keeping the sketch close to my heart for a few more minutes and wiping my tears.I decided to go and study the book I have on Dark Arts. I was still engrossed in reading I didn't know it was the time for dinner. I heard the bell and kept my book on the table and cast a charm to make it look like a history book.
I went to the hall and ate my dinner quietly and stole some glances at her. She didn't notice me yet, but I was looking at her only. After finishing my dinner I went back to my room and soon I heard her also entering in her room.
I once again started to read the book and was still reading it when I felt tired and decided to go back to sleep. I changed into my night clothes and tried to sleep but wasn't able to do so. After tossing and turning for a few more minutes I decided to check on her. I taking my wand and without wearing shoes went to her room through the bathroom door. There I saw her pet sleeping. I casted a Sleeping Charm on her and her pet. Then I went near her bed and sat down on it near her legs.
Then I saw some of her hair strands were on her face. Without any hesitation I removed those strands and started to say in a low voice Kenna Aurora Green do you know you share the same name except your surname ? No you don't.But you know I... When I got to know about your name I was sad because you are going to be a reminder of someone whom I lost. At that moment I was weak and pitiful but now I am becoming stronger and powerful than before. I know you don't like me and maybe you won't in near future. But even if we are enemies and no one believes you or you need someone's support then you will find me there for you. Maybe by this way only I can reduce my guilt but I promise you will not be her replacement. Sleep well Kenna.
I gave her a small kiss on her forehead and left her room and went to sleep. I don't know but I saw my Kenna in my dream. We both were happy. She said Don't worry Tom I am going to be with you soon but have some more patience. Then I promise I will be with you but you have to leave this path for forever. I promise you Kenna please come back I have very less patience left please. I woke up at a very fast speed while mumbling this and found myself covered in sweat from top to bottom. I was breathing heavily when I checked the time and saw it was only 5'o clock in the morning and drank a glass of water kept on the table near my bed and then went back to sleep.
Soon more than three weeks passed and Kenna's sorting ceremony took place. I was listening to everything that the sorting hat said about her and when the sorting hat talked to me about the mirror. I became confused and knew that it is better to use my own energy and brain than asking the answers from this hat.
I went out of her room while telling her to be ready so that we could go to shopping. I don't know but I want to spend my every minute with her but can't find any way to do so. Let's see what does the future holds for us tomorrow.