Everyday it's getting colder

Im sorry

I sit outside the office, I hear my deputy head telling my parents what I did. And I didn't mean it.
I sit there waiting for my mam to come out and shout at me, for her to humiliate me and make me feel worse about it than what I already did.
She storms out, I saw the hurricane brewing in her eyes and I knew this would be a bad one. My dad shortly follows looking angered, and that takes a lot so I knew what was about to come wasn't going to be good.
"Go on, explain what you did" my mam shouts at me
"I didn't-" I go to say
"No! Madison Abigail Russo! Get in the car now!" My mam practically screams at me. I pick up my bag and walk to the car, I felt their eyes stabbing me in the back as I walk to the car park.

The full car journey was silent, even my dad turned down the music. And let's just say he never does that.
We get home and I go upstairs. "Madison! Bring the phone now!" I hear my mam scream
I go back down deciding not to fight back and hand it over.
"We need to talk to you" my dad says a bit calmer
"Okay" I say quietly

I sit at the dinner table. "We think it would be better for you to movie in with alessia for a bit" my mam says angrily
"Are you joking! No!" I shout
"I'm not leaving! I'm not leaving my friends! Your seriously abandoning me" I shout
"She's on her way" my mam says
"So pack your stuff up" she adds
"Do you think I actually meant what I did today!" I shout
"Look Madison, just sit down and let us talk then" my dad says
I sit down, the anger flooding my veins.

"What went on today was not acceptable and we are quite frankly fed up of your behaviour" my dad says strictly
"But-" I say
"No Madison, you can't even deny it. You've seriously injured that girl and that's not fair. She's in hospital for fuck sake Madison! Learn your lessons" my mam snaps
"She was being a bitch, and plus she fought me first!" I say
"Hey! Stop with the foul language" my dad says sternly
"You never get into fights! If she fights first you walk away madi!" My mam says
"She deserved it, she's manipulative" I say
"I don't care. I've heard enough, go upstairs and pack!" My mam says angrily

I leave and sigh and head upstairs.
I pack everything up.

I look at the almost empty room and go downstairs. I hear the familiar sound, my mam slagging me off because of my behaviour to my sister. I go into the kitchen and dump my bags. "Are you happy, finally get rid of me!" I say angrily
"No, they aren't getting rid of you madi they're just looking out for you" alessia says
"Yeah yeah" I say and slam my last bag on the floor.

After a while alessia says "come on then missus, got a while to go to get back"
"Great" I say sarcastically. I pick up the bags and walk out.
I get in the car and wait for her.

I see my parents wave at me and I don't bother.
Alessia gets in and says "you know they're just trying to help you"
"Well I don't need help" I snap
"I can do everything on my own, and she fucking deserved it. You don't understand less, you were perfect in school I'm not. I'm some dumb idiot who doesn't know anything and everyone picks on me" I say
"Even if she deserved it fighting isn't always right" she says as she reverses out the drive.
"I don't care anymore less, I've put up with her since year 8 and now I'm in year 10 I couldn't care about her" I say
"Look I know it's hard, I know you find it hard, but please try" alessia says
"No, I don't care anymore. I just want to play professionally like you. I don't need GCSES for that" I say
"Well" less says
"Don't lie" I say

"What happened madi? You rarely fight. There must be a good reason" she asks
I sit in silence. "Come on I'm your sister" she adds
"No because you'll tell mum" I say
"I won't" she says
I sigh and say "I fell out with her. Well she fell out with me"
"Who?" Alessia asks
"Amelia" I say
"Seriously? But you are best friends" alessia says
"Yeah not anymore" I say and scoff

"I was eating my lunch with my mates and she comes over and just initiates a fight. I'm not going to be some crybaby and just walk away. When you're in the moment you have to. I fight her. She deserved it. I mean I won and I ain't gonna lie i did good. No one likes her less, she was going to be fighting someone at some point, it's not my fault she chose me" I say

"How come you don't like her?" She asks

"She fakes everything and is an attention seeker. She wants praise constantly and wants someone to tell her she's done good. She starts talking to all these boys thinking they actually like her. She is in her bad bitch era it's just not working. She thinks she's popular but she's far from it" I say

We pull up at alessias. "I hope you don't mind but some of the arsenal girls are here" she says
I lean back and sigh. "Great" I say

We go inside and all the girls jump up to come and see 'alessias little sister'
"Where's my room less?" I say quietly
"Come on" she says and shows me.

Alessia POV

I go downstairs. "What happened?" Beth asks
"She got into a fight at school and mum and dad couldn't handle her anymore" I explain
"Dont think she's too happy" I add

Madison POV

I lie in the room, staring at the blank walls. Wishing I was back home, wishing I did walk away from Amelia. Why did I fight her? Why did I punch her nose? Then her chest? Then rip her hair? Why? She was already damaged enough but I hurt her more. I'm such a bitch and I don't even know what to do anymore. Why do I make things so bad? Why is it always me? I can't seem to control my anger or anything, it's just me. It's how I am, I always have been. I change my location on the bed and sit on the end of it dangling my legs off swaying them back and forth whilst I stare at myself in the mirror. My friends wouldn't even recognise I'm gone will they? I saw the tear fall and that was me, I was broken. I was never ever a full person there was always a part missing. The door opens and I don't bother turning round, I couldn't bring my self to it. I sit there feeling the tears fall, why did my parents abandon me? What did I genuinely do to them? Am I seriously that bad?

"Madi?" I hear alessia say
I stay still. "Mads" she says and pulls me into a hug. "What's wrong?" She asks
"No one likes me less" I cry
"Yeah they do" she says
"No they don't. Mum and dad kicked me out." I say crying
"They are just struggling madi" alessia says
"Because of me" I say
"Not because of you at all. Because of everything" she says
"Everyone struggles" alessia adds
"You will at some point" she says. I already am.
"Look, you mentioned football and I know now you're here you're not on a team. So I talked to Liam the assistant coach for the arsenal under 15s he's offering you a trial" alessia says
"Yeah" I say deflated
"I know it's hard right now. But I promise it'll get better" she says

She leaves once I calmed down and then I fall asleep.

I'm woken up to a thick Irish accent. "Sorry to wake you, less wanted me to check on you" she says
"Katie?" I ask
"Yeah" she says
"Why are you here? Its like 1am" I say
"I think you know why kid" she says

Yeah she's definitely fucking my sister.

"Okay" I say and fall back to sleep.

The next morning I wake up, I had no idea what time it was. But it was probably late. I go downstairs and see a note on the counter.

Morning madison, even though it's probably not morning when you read this! I'm at training. I'll be home at 2pm!

I get myself some breakfast more like lunch. I go upstairs and sit in the bed whilst eating my food. I put the plate on the side and turn the TV on. I watched Netflix for a while before I heard the door. "Just me" I hear alessia shout upstairs.
I go downstairs and see Katie with her, I send them both a soft smile. "Have you done your schoolwork?" Alessia asks me
"No sorry" I say
"Why?" Alessia asks angrily
"I didn't know I had any. And I didn't know what I'm allowed to use. Mum took my phone I've got nothing" I say
"Okay. You can use my laptop" alessia says

I go to leave. "Madison" she says
"Mhm" I say and turn back around. "I want you to meet someone" she says
"Who?" I ask
"It's Leah Williamson little sister. Her name is Gracie, she's playing at the academy and she's living with Leah" alessia explains
"Okay" I say