Marriage and Maintainability

Chapter 25

NAGPATUMBA si Claire sa kama at napatakip ng mukha. Her mind was so unclear that she couldn't breathe properly, and she couldn't think of something else besides Leon's intense long stare and his scorching touch.

What is happening to her though? Why did she make that inappropriate sound? Hell, she never even thought that she was capable of moaning because of someone's touch. Is that her fault though?

 Pinipigilan niya na huwag magpakita ng kung anong kaluguran sa kanilang ginagawa sa mga oras na iyon. She was on top of him with an erratic heart. It was normal for her to get anxious since it was her first time. However, she knew that Leon was supposed to grip her waist but what she didn't anticipate was how hard it was as if he was longing for something to happen.

It can't help but arouse her. His touch didn't help her to stay still but did the opposite instead. Hindi niya na napagilan ang biglang pag-ungol at magulat sa ginawa nito. Parang nililiyaban ang kanyang katawan sa oras na iyon... kahit hanggang ngayon ay nararamdaman niya pa rin ang init ng palad nito at tila ba naimprinta na iyon sa kanyang isipan at naiwan sa kanyang balat.

Sinalat ni Claire ang baywang kung saan kumapit nang mahigpit si Leon at napapikit siya sa pagkadismya ngunit gayundin ay dahil sa kaluguran. It was her first time to be gripped by a man that scream so much emotion. Lust. Restraint. Longing. Which the longer she thinks, the more it is to become impossible.

To think that it was Leon who made the gesture made it even more anticipated for her part. Her lust for Leon has gone too far and it must come to a halt as soon as possible. Wala mapapala ang pagkahalina niya dito. Knowing how Leon was so perfect and incomparable, he only see her as his fortune and no other else. Hinding-hindi ito maakit sa kanya. Hindi ito lalampas sa makapal na linyang iginuhit nila sa gitna para sa isa't isa. Hinding-hindi ito magtatangka na tingnan siya bilang babae dahil sa itsura niya pa lamang ay walang-wala na siya sa mga tipo ni Leon.

Huminga nang malalim si Claire at iwinaksi ang pagkahalina niya dito. She's attracted to Leon, yes. There's no doubt that if he ever crossed the line, she couldn't guarantee herself not to do the same. But it was just lust, she knew. She just wanted sheer pleasure out of curiosity and being inexperienced as a woman at the age of twenty-nine. Walang papatunguhan ang pagkamayamo niya sa iisang tao. Having Leon on her side is proof that she wasn't as pure as she thought she was. No one wants to be if they are with Leon, to be honest. Kagaya lamang siya ng mga kababaihan na nahuhumaling dito at gusto na makaulayaw nito.

And she would be a liar if she didn't admit he wanted Leon. Even though it's beyond unimaginable but she does. She wanted Leon to be her first experience. and now that she has married him doesn't guarantee her to desire it. She was just his wife in name. A wife and husband to each other because of responsibility they need to comply.

Bumalikwas si Claire sa pagkakahiga at isinuot ang damit ni Leon na naroon sa kama. Hindi niya alam ang nangyari ngunit bigla na lamang siyang naisipan na lumabas para makahinga nang maayos. The room was suffocating her and that made her body scorched. Simula ngayon ay hindi na siya puwedeng pumasok sa kung anumang kuwarto na kasama si Leon at baka tuluyan na siyang mawala ng huwisyo. She have kissed him before when she couldn't contain herself, what more can she do when she's with Leon in the same room. Patagal nang patagal ay hindi niya na nakikilala ang sarili... hindi, doon pala siya nagkakamali. Sa dalawangpu't siyam na pamamalagi niya sa mundo ay si Leon lamang ang nagpatunay na hindi niya kilala nang buo ang sarili.

She didn't know that she was capable of desiring someone. Desiring Leon to be exact.
Walang suklay-suklay na itinali ni Claire ang buhok at lumabas sa hotel villa na kanilang tinutuluyan. Nang makalanghap ng preskong hangin ay kahit papaano ay nakahihga siya nang maluwag. She needed distance. She needed time to clear her mind. She suddenly crave for alone time.