𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 & 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐡𝐞𝐦 || 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐥 (𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐈𝐈)

4.1 - Seungcheol

With one more glance, I see the coast is clear, and I dart across the street, toward the house I know where my Hannie lay.

Is he asleep, in pain, or is he awake, waiting? For me?

Soonyoung's car is out front, and for all I know, they're all waiting for me, weapons in hand and ready to wield them at my throat. I wouldn't be surprised. Actually, I expect it.

I can't stop, though. I can't not reach for him, search the world left and right until I find him.

My side aches as I walk around the house, and my hand goes to my blood-stained shirt, the stitches beneath haphazard and painful.

Only after another day and into the night have I gained the power to leave the motel. When the cops stopped scoping the area and I felt safe enough to stumble out. I know they're searching for me, their eyes scanning the faces of everyone in town as they look for mine.

They will never find me. Not even one of them.

Making my way to the side of the house, my hand reaches up, my stitches stretching as I grab the lowest branch. I pull myself up, gritting my teeth in pain as my entire being clenches in agony. My leg swings over the thick branch, and I grip it with my hands as I bend over, hissing through my teeth. My strength isn't there. I've lost too much blood in the last few days and need rest to gain my strength.

I don't have time, though. I'm on borrowed time before the police close in on me. But before they do, I need Jeonghan.

My Jeonghan. My dark Jeonghan, who may deny it, but he's become just as dark as I am.

The energy around him drips with an energy that matches mine. It's why we are so good, yet so bad for each other. We may create chaos, but it's a fucking magnificent chaos.

I can see it in the way he walks, the way he carries himself. Long gone is the boy who was aloof to the world.

Three years ago, Jeonghan walked around without noticing anyone. I noticed them. How the guys wanted him. How the girls envied him. How there wasn't a person he would walk past without them giving him a double take, with wonder in their eyes and jealousy twisting their lips.

He had a confidence about him. He didn't care about his family's wealth or the fact that he himself dressed like he belonged at a fucking rock concert half his life. He was uncaring, but still effortlessly beautiful.

It was the confidence and the way he didn't give a shit about anyone around him which drew everyone in. It's what drew me in.

Though, when he came home last month, there was an awareness in the way he watched everyone. As if his eyes were finally opened to the world around him. Maybe it was Hyungwon's death that woke him up. Maybe it was the way his freedom hung in the balance, and he had to earn the trust of those around him.

He came home, and he still didn't care what people thought, though I could see the open wound being picked every time someone called him a murderer. He pretended it wasn't a direct hit to the pain, but it was. He was becoming human.

It's what made my love for him turn into an obsession. And I'd never let him go.

After a deep breath, I pull myself up, climbing up the next two branches until I'm hanging over the second-story window, staring straight into Jeonghan's bedroom.

He's so fucking beautiful.

He lies on his mattress, his knees pressed into his chest as he is curled up in a small ball. His hands lay in a prayer stance below his cheek, his eyes settled closed as if he's at peace. Though, I know better. The line between his brows gives away his stress. His messy hair, sprawled across his pillow.