it does not boast

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"What's your body count?"

"Is that them?"

"Better to have loved & lost...

Tally the trauma."


I once did.

I am now.

I was burned.

Favor the results of my vow.


Accolades handed out;

For how well we take it.

How well we scored,

Or how we carry the bad bits.


Open and free,

What an interesting recipe.

Self-possession breeding jealousy,

The inevitable sting of inclusivity.

Honesty becoming insecurity.


It's not about a connection,

But your reputation.


My success, stability.

My looks & sanity.

Not loved but mere utility.


It's so hard in this environment,

To decipher what's legitimate.

Are you dating me to boost your status?

Or because you really enjoy us?


I know the answer.

You tell me we're different,

That I need to remain free.

Worried you could sabotage it for me.


Tell me you love me,

As you hold me at arm's length.

Admiring, not harvesting, my strength.

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