♡ Bench Trio Oneshots ♡

• Disgusting •

{Hi this oneshot makes me nervous to post but im coming to a realization with myself, and I wanted to vent out my thoughts in some way. So here's a vent oneshot}

(Warning: this oneshot goes over a few dark topics, so be advised. People may not agree with me doing these topics with this character, and that's okay! Just don't read it please if the TWs/CWs bother you)

[Masc-nonbinary trans!Ranboo centered]

[TWs/CWs:
• Being groomed online at a young age(?)
• Depression
• Hypersexuality?
• Anxiety
• Overthinking
• Wanting to hurt oneself
• Skims over the topic of SA
• Let me know if you find more!
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Ranboo felt so stupid. They should've realized sooner. Should've understood sooner.

A playlist they found on YouTube played through his headphones while he used his phone to search up answers. Trying to find what he missed.

The playlist was one created to describe sexual assault. Someone feeling gross with them self. Assaulted. He'd never thought about it before, not until he started actually really thinking about it.

Why did they relate so much? They were never once touched that way—never hurt that way. They were okay. So why did he feel like this?

When he was younger, just a kid of 7 or 8, he had a social account that he made videos on. Likee, he's not sure what it's called now but it was something like Tiktok. Back then, he was still identifying as a girl. Just a little girl. And that little girl had gotten talking with some fourteen year old, at least she thought he was fourteen, she was only half his age.

This boy had been nice in the beginning. Then he asked her to be his girlfriend. And this naive, oblivious little girl said yes. And then he sent her a picture of his.. let's leave it unsaid. And she sent a picture back. Her chest exposed because she thought it was what she was supposed to do. At seven years old.

And now, it was beginning to make sense what happened. What this boy had done to her. And gotten her into.

Of course, the Internet had especially fucked them up, but this. This memory began to become painful, especially when he read the experiences of other people being groomed online when they were younger, of people becoming hypersexual because of the Internet, of what being groomed is.

Is this why he felt so disgusting? Is the Internet and whoever this fourteen year old was responsible for when they can't get those thoughts of losing their virginity and becoming all worked up and then feeling disgusted with himself?

He had been just a child. And now he's older, and suffering. What had he done to deserve this? Why were his thoughts so disgusting? What would others think of him now? Would they find them as disgusting as he does?

They wanted to bang their arm against the edge of something. A table, just something. They wanted to feel it hurt. He wanted to feel pain. His breath was so fast and his mind was overloaded. They felt stupid for getting overwhelmed like this, but what could he do now?

He just turned his phone off, then threw it to the side and curled up on his bed. The playlist continued, a soft sigh escaping their lips as he pulled his legs to their chest. Their head laid on the pillow, willing the darkness of his room to consume him.

He felt stupid.

Disgusting.
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A/N
{Wasn't that just a lovely oneshot?}

[Again, it's a vent one shot. And I know that it was short and bitter, not really sweet. But it was a nice way to vent out what happened last month. The realization I came to. At least, I think. I don't really know, I think it's what happened. But maybe I'm wrong.]

[Hey, but I wrote something! I realized I haven't posted like an actual one shot since September 2023, oops, so silly of me]

(I hope you have a great day, night, whatever time it is for you! And don't forget, you need to eat and drink something. Even if it's small, at least you've got something in your system!)

~I love you <3~

Your Author, Riley

[Word count: 480 words!!]