Heartbreak | bxb angst

Chapter 20

Alex never really minded studying law. But don't ask them why they chose this major, they really have no other reason other than their parents being lawyers. And maybe, also the thought of being a non gender confirming lawyer sounds kind of awesome.

It would be a huge 'fuck you' to all their family members that would keep asking them to just 'choose a gender'. What the heck does that mean? Those people would insist that it would be easier for them to use she/her or he/him, as if 'they' isn't one of the pronouns in the english language, because, again, what the heck?

Alex is going to be a good lawyer, and everyone in the courtroom would refer to them and their identity correctly, without a sliver of questioning.

It shouldn't be too hard, since people lately have been very respectful everytime they were corrected about Alex's pronouns. Like Jude, for example.

Alex had been confident enough for their first day of being a university student. That is, until they have arrived to their class, and all they could do is stand frozen by the opened class door.

Their eyes scanned the inside, hands clutching on the strap of their crossbody bag. Everyone looked so serious, it was intimidating and too much to handle. Everytime a student would walk pass them, they would always have their shoulders back and just looked too.. proper? And something about it seemed uncanny. Seriously though, why can't everyone just relax?

They then finally spotted a girl sitting in the middle row. Somehow her aura seemed less uncanny. Maybe it was because she was dressed very casually, with a cropped off-white jacket and jeans that looked very comfortable. Or maybe because her posture looked less tense than everyone else's. So no time was then wasted, Alex walked over to this person and immediately took a seat next to her.

The girl noticed Alex, then gave them a smile. Alex remembered thinking that if they could feel romantic attraction, that would probably be the end of their life. She was beautiful, and the energy she exuded could only be compared to the most beautiful of gardens, with bloomed flowers and little bees flying around them. The beauty that most would take for granted, appreciated by only a few whom in Alex's humble opinion, had the most exquisite taste.

"Hi. I'm- uh, Alex. Hi."

Since when in their life did they ever stutter?

The girl thankfully paid no mind to it, instead with her maintained kind smile, replied "Hi, Alex. I'm Jude."

Then, Alex felt safe. The nerves left, and this is where they noticed they were in fact the furthest thing from relaxed. It felt like they had only started to breathe as they felt their shoulders relax, and they could finally sit comfortably without straining their muscles to much. Jude is a friend now. There shouldn't be anything else to worry about.

Until of course, the class started and Alex realized their neatly packed pencil case is in fact, not in their bag. Amazing.

"Um, Jude?" their voice came out small.

"Yes, Alex?" Jude's was kind and genuine.

"Do you have a spare pen, maybe?"

With no judgement at all, Jude searched her own pencil case and handed Alex a pen immediately after she found one. A cute one at that, it was a deep shade of blue with a sticker of a daisy on the end of it, presumably serving as a sign of identity.

Alex couldn't help but smile. It suits Jude very well.

"Thanks."

"No problem." Jude smiled again.

What a beautiful person.

Alex happily took the pen. Don't tell Jude, though. She never noticed, but Alex would never return it.