Joshua's pov
"I-I know" Jeonghan paused as he handed me the paper, "b-but this one... this one's different" Jeonghan clenched his jaw, staring at the paper.
"... It has a name on it" he briefly added as he looked surprised at the person who I wrote the letter to.
"It also seems like it was written recently" Jeonghan pointed out as his eyes fell on the date.
It was from a week ago.
I couldn't help but stand there in silence. I didn't know what to say.
"That's why you and Dokyeom hugged like that earlier... he's the guy you've loved ever since high school..." Jeonghan sighed as he spoke with a flat voice once again.
I couldn't even gather the words to properly explain the situation to him.
"I'm- I'm sorry" I spoke with a brittle voice, my gaze was on the floor.
"Really Joshua? Is that all you have to say?" Jeonghan clenched his fists. His eyes were wide opened looking straight at me.
"You still love him don't you?"
I kept quiet, holding back tears.
"I should've seen that from you. How foolish" he paused and took a deep sigh, "how foolish of me even considering there was something between us" he whispered.
I could barely distinguish properly the words of that sentence.
"I believe that.." Jeonghan started speaking again, inhaling deeply, "I believe that we should've kept on hating each other you know" Jeonghan finally added.
A moment of silence as he awaited a reply from me.
But I couldn't gather the words. My legs felt weak.
I felt weak.
He soon turned around.
He walked out of the room.
I heard him take his stuff, then slamming the door.
I could feel water began to collect in the corner of my eyes.
I fell down on my knees, cupping my burning hot face.
I bursted into tears.
I started sobbing uncontrollably.
I blubbered, thinking about the lack of words.
Thinking about the fact I didn't explain everything to Jeonghan.
I began to realize that I had just ruined everything.
Again.
No wonder no one ever stayed.
No wonder Dokyeom and I never worked out in the end.
No wonder Jeonghan left too.
I felt naive to even consider being finally happy.
I will never be good enough for him. For Jeonghan.
And he was right.
We were better off hating each other.
I could feel my eyes swelling up since blood had rushed to my face.
Hard sobs echoed in my enclosed room. A few moments passed.
I slowly stopped blubbering. All were left now were deep breaths in a forced attempt to recollect myself.
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Third person pov
