The Playground

Swings And Roundabouts

I cant take it anymore. Im so fucking done. I need an escape from this bullshit, but I have nothing. I need an escape from this fucked up reality im meant to call life. From the pain, the suffering, the lies. But there's nowhere.

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I'm in first period. Why does science drag so much. I don't understand it anyway. There's no teacher in here. I'm just sitting at the back, one headphone in, blankly staring at some equations to balance. 'Iero, what are you doing over there?' That's Carlson. God I hate him, him and his little fucking gang. 'Answer him when he speaks you little fag.' And there goes Tommy, he's so far up Carlson's ass I'm surprised he noticed I didn't respond. The rest of his gang chipped in, bunch of meatheads. They're all jocks, naturally. But that's how you survive and Belleview high, if you're not a sporty jock or attention seeking whore, you're a nobody. You just blend into the swarm of mediocre kids. Unless the jocks notice you that is, then you're the schools punching bag. Example? Me. I shrugged my shoulders at Carlson, clearly not valuing my life. 'Did he just..' And theres Bryar. I left my head to face my desk, pleading our teacher to walk back in. 'Just you fucking wait until the end of first period, you're dead Iero.' I kept my body still and mouth clenched, I could accept the spit balls and paper aeroplanes, but if I let a word slip, I'll be worse than dead, if its one thing I know.

Twenty minutes later and I was under the stairs, contents of my bag spread, blood gracefully making its way down my chin from my lip. 'See you later fag, when you'll be gone forever.' Getting beaten up wasn't even the worst thing. Its knowing that probably 50 kids saw that happen, and not one of them thought to help. Hell, I wouldn't even be shocked to know a teacher walked by. But it's like I said, I'm not a jock, and certainly not a whore. So who's gonna care? After some consideration I gingerly picked up my stuff, heavy handedly shoving it into my bag. I used the end of my sleeve to dab at the running blood, stopping just before reaching the cut.

Some five minutes down the line, I'd made my way to my small sanity in the school - the maths boys toilets. You'd think it'd be the least safe place to stay, but all things considered it's not too bad. Its cleaner than most the places in the school, but mainly because nobody goes towards maths if they can avoid it. It gives me a little bit of peace when I'm being chased by fucking giants with a vendetta against me. Pulling myself towards the mirror, I examined my face with more curiosity. There was a pretty little black eye forming on the right, and the cut on my lip was causing swelling. Great. Grabbing some tissue, I managed to clean the blood off a little more, before giving up due to pain and striding off to the nurse.

'Hey Val..' Her face was a picture, I was surprised really - this hasnt been the first of my scrapes naturally. But you gotta expect that in this fucked place known as high school. 'Take a seat over there, I'll grab you an ice pack right away Frank.' I smiled feebly in appreciation. I liked Val, shes the one teacher to actually understand what its like to be here, to give a damn about you. Its just a shame she's only the nurse. However she came back with the ice pack, gently applying it to my face. Im so done with this place, its not a school. Its a dictatorship, run by jocks and fucking slags. It makes me sick. I need to leave this place, now. 'Frank..?' My head shook, it was just Val. Sweet old Val. 'Uh.. thanks, Val, I need to get back to lesson.' I dropped the ice pack on the seat, dashing out as fast as I could. One thing raced through my mind; theyre gonna get me, if I stay, theyre gonna get me.

Theres some woods. Next to the school. It'd never crossed my mind, but for some reason now it felt like an only option. An only escape from this bullshit. Fuck Belleview, I didn't need it. I need my life more than attendance. 'Well look who it is..' Shit. Not now. Why the fuck did this have to happen now. Why not tomorrow, why couldn't they be skipping in third period. But second? Its like they know Im trying to leave. 'Just go Carlson, I dont have time for your bullshit.' No! Why did I do that. Im dead. Im fucking dead. Thats the end of Frank Iero. R.I.P, funeral attendees, 0. I done the one thing I could think of in that three seconds it took them to process what Id said - I ran. Faster than my nonathletic, smoking body could carry me. I ran deep into the woods, not looking for any direction other than escape. And, for once in my life, I found it.

I was greeted with a small park. Rusty, clearly out of use. Small slide, two swings, and a roundabout. 'Hah.' I laughed out loud to myself, amused at the metaphor. It was like I was on a slide, forever going down, met with the swings and roundabouts known as life. I took a hesitant step towards one swing, feeling alien to this area. 'Oh. Oh..' I hadn't expected that to be adjacent. The stones were old, decaying. Moss covered them beautifully, creating a warped wonderland. The grass climbed up the structures, threatening to capture them into nature. This place hadn't been touched, not in a long time. Its sad to think that, that when you die eventually people aren't going to care. You'll just be more bones in the ground, littering the earth underneath. People wont visit, your resting place wont be kept pristine, you'll be nothing. The sadness was consuming me, taking me into the void. I lit up a cigarette, taking a long drag, releasing my poison into the air.

'Smokings bad you know.'