Kian & Ascian

chapter 7

tw: swearing (but not that much)
(I want you all to be okay so you can just ignore this too if you want)

~ Kian
After being practically shoved out of Ascians house by Zak and being told to wait a few minutes before walking down the way down to the street, so Ascians parents wouldn't see him, Kian was angry. Mainly at Ascians parents to come back earlier than he planned on but also at his own parents. The whole situation at his home bothered him for quite a long time now and he even lost a few important persons in his life by not telling them the truth. Also a few friends that he's never been that close to, who always would come over to his house to study with him for tests. When things got bad with his parents he started telling them to meet without him or that he just didn't had time. One by one they stopped asking him to study with them and if he was honest with himself, it hurt. Pretty much, actually. But that wasn't even the part that hurt the most.

He had a girlfriend. Felicity. Liz. His one and only. Maybe even the love of his life. But she broke up with him after he started telling her that they couldn't meet at his home anymore. She told him that she thought he was betraying her. He never would, though. She was the most perfect girl he could ever think of and it hurt him in his soul that she broke up with him. Not a lot of his friends knew that he even had a girlfriend and those who knew didn't know they broke up. Ascian knew that he was in a relationship. But he never told him that Liz broke up with him. As well as he never told him how his parents were arguing all the time.

And now that he was going to tell him the whole thing, Ascians parents had to come back earlier. That wasn't fair! When was he supposed to tell Ascian then?

When Kian unlocked the door to his home, he heard his parents yelling at each other again. He closed his eyes and sighed, a weird feeling pressing down on his chest, a mixture of anger, guilt, sadness and resignation. He was about to just go up into his room, to try and escape the constant fighting of his parents, when he heard his name in their fight. They seemed to haven't heard him coming back.

Hearing their voices coming from the living room, Kian silently walked up to the entrance of said room, to be able to understand more of what his parents were fighting about this time. Normally, he would've tried to ignore their fighting but he wasn't able to do that when he'd heard his own name.

"We can't get a divorce while Kian is still here!", his mother yelled. "But I don't want to be stuck with you here for longer than I already had to!", Kians father yelled back. "Why can't you just wait a little longer? Until he's gone to college or whatever?", Kians mother argued, suddenly sounding very tired. "Because I want to marry her now.", his father nearly whispered in a dangerously angry tone.

[Okay, I'm sorry, tw for this part]
"You want to marry that whore? Have you gone mad? She's just using you to fuck her because she has nobody else!", his mother screamed back so suddenly that Kian jumped.
[tw end]

That was when Kian realized that he could be caught listening to a fight that he definitely shouldn't be listening to. He silently made his way into his room, hoping that his parents wouldn't hear him, but they just continued yelling at each other. He closed his door in an attempt to block out their voices and leaned against it. He was suddenly very aware of the feeling of being weighed down in this house. Kian already suspected that his parents were going to get a divorce the second he left them on their own for good, but suspecting it and then actually knowing it seemed to be something very different. He sighed and tried to calm down his spinning mind, which wanted to find ways to keep his parents from getting a divorce, to get his parents to be a perfect family with him and his sister again. He now knew that he wouldn't be able to do that and that he should eventually accept the state his parents were in. But that was so goddamn hard and he knew that he couldn't just do that from one moment to the next. But at least he finally was able to think about accepting it. That was at least something.

Then his mind traveled back to Liz. Oh, how much he wanted to be at hers in the moment. But she broke up with him so he couldn't just turn up at her house. He had tried to accept their breakup but it just hurt too much. He was not able to let go of her yet. He didn't want to let go of her. She was way too perfect. They were too perfect. Or had been at least. He didn't once think about having to live a life without her in it, and now he was struggling to do exactly that. It never even occurred to him that there would come a situation that would put them apart. It just seemed too far away. To him, it seemed, as if the two of them would be able to overcome everything that was in their way together. And now the two of them were single again. Or he was at least. He didn't know about Liz. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know. Their state right now was hurting him so fucking much already and he didn't know how he would react when he would get to know that Liz wasn't single anymore. Not his anymore. He really wanted to believe that maybe, when he figured out his life at home, there could be a future with her again. He really wanted to believe that, but he forbid himself to think about that possibility. In the end he would just end up getting more hurt than he was in the moment.

A/N: sorry you had to wait for so long but I kinda lost interest in writing for a bit, then school got too much, my mental health is fucked up
    (again) and lately I had a few doctor appointments bc I literally nearly broke my back in pe 👍
    also, I can't really sleep anymore so I finally figured I could as well do something productive and write a new chapter :D (it's definitely
    not 4am what are you talking about)
    I even started the next chapter already so hopefully you don't have to wait for so long :)
    I also saw a lot of typos in the earlier chapters but I'm too lazy rn and I probably should try to get at least a little bit of sleep

(No internet connection what is thissssssss?? *me, silently scoffing cause I don't want to wake anybody* Imma upload this tomorrow then🙄)