Kian & Ascian

chapter 3

~ Ascians brother

He had waited outside Ascian's room because his father had told him to. His father said something, but he hadn't understood what. Then it had become very quiet. He could feel the silence beneath the door crawling towards him and giving him goosebumps. He closed his eyes because he knew what was happening in the room. He wanted to run away, away from his brother's room. But he couldn't. His father had told him too much. He had been threatened too much to do the things his father told him to do. So he stayed there.
After what felt like an eternity, his father left his brother's room and rubbed his knuckles. He went cold as ice, realizing it was his fault. But his father had asked him if anything had happened, and with the look in his eyes, he didn't mean to lie. If that got out, he probably would have faced the same thing Ascian had just experienced. He thought about how broken his family was. His father pointed into the room behind him, and his gaze was cold and dismissive. "Help him not to look so bad, I don't want your mother to see him like that." He just nodded because he didn't trust his voice. He was too shocked that his father had carried out all the threats he had made after his brother came out as gay. He should never bring a boy home, and he is no longer accepted by his father. Then his father had turned to him, a wild look in his eyes. "And you, you will always tell me what is happening here, is that clear?" He could only nod.
He waited for his father to be out of sight, then slowly pushed the door open. He saw Ascian's eyes dart to the door, studied him, and slid back to the ceiling. He closed the door behind him slowly. "How are you feeling?" He asked quietly. "How would you feel?" His brother asked back and looked at him again. He leaned at the wall next to the door and looked back at Ascian. "I always felt like I would've deserved it. Shouldn't be right, but yeah. He told me how badly I'd be for the family, how I'd pull your image down, and then he started punching me. Wasn't nice, but I survived it." He saw the concern in his brothers eyes, but he forced himself to look at his brother completely. He saw his split lip, and his nose was bleeding. But he knew that didn't mean anything. His father concentrated more and more on his upper body. He assumed he had done the same with Ascian. He pushed himself off the wall and carefully sat down next to Ascian on the bed. He tried in vain to see any injuries through Ascian's t-shirt. He raised his hands to the hem of the shirt and looked Ascian in the eye. "May I?" Ascian just slightly nodded. He carefully lifted the t-shirt but stopped as soon as he felt Ascian flinch. He looked him back in the eye. "Are you okay?" But now Ascian just looked back. So he focused again on lifting the t-shirt as gently as possible.
He finally got it all the way up, and he squinted at Ascian's torso. He couldn't see any injuries, but there had to be some. He had seen that in Ascians flinching. "Can you tell exactly where it hurts?" he asked his brother. Ascian closed his eyes briefly but then shook his head. "It hurts too much to say," he said in a broken voice. That hit him right in the heart. How could his father do such a thing? "You might have a broken rib," he said cautiously after another look at Ascian. But he just looked him in the eyes. "Wait, I'll just get something for your nose."he remembered. He was about to get up and get some tissues when Ascian grabbed his arm. "Thank you, Zak."he wispered, and Zak could see the overcome in Ascians eyes. "It's not because i want to help you. It's because I would feel bad otherwise. He hurt you because of me, so i kind of have to help you." Ascian nodded. "Thanks, though." He said. Zak just turned around and left the room to finally get something for Ascians' nose. He smiled while leaving the room. Up to that moment, he didn't believe in a good feeling after helping someone. But he felt good after helping Ascian. So he thought that he better start believing in this good feeling.
As he walked downstairs, he heard the doorbell ring. Instantly, he got a bad feeling in his stomach. He ran to the door and opened it. In front of him stood Kian. "This is bad timing," he told him. "Why?"Kian asked and arched one eyebrow. "Our parents - no wait. He didn't tell you about our parents, right?" Zak asked, the bad feeling still in his stomach. "No?"Kian asked back. "Well, I can't explain now, but if you want to see him when he is still alive, then you should probably go now and come back when our parents drove away." "Why?"Kian asked, now not only confused but also a little bit angry. At this moment, Zak heard steps from the kitchen. And he knew it was his father. "Shit. You have to go. Now!"he whisper-shouted and closed the door. Then he turned around and directly met his father's eyes. Everything in his body screamed run but he knew how to control himself. He didn't even bat an eyelash when he was startled.
"Who was that?"his father asked, and he could hear the mistrust in his voice. He swallowed slightly and shaked his head a little. "There was nobody."he obviously lied while he prayed to god that Kian was really gone. He leaned himself against the door a little. "You were a little too long at the door to convince me to that."his father said in a low, scary voice. "I thought you knew better than to lie at me."he added. Zaks whole body was tense and ready to run away, but there was no way he could run. He was now pressed against the door, and his father stood right in front of him. There was no way he could go. And there was nothing that could save him from what would happen next. He closed his eyes, and his mind travelled back to every time he closed his eyes in such a situation and he relived the pain that followed each time.